Peace over Perfection at Christmas Time

As you’re reading this blog, it could be at a time when you are trying to relax, laying in bed, or even when you’re “doom scrolling”/zoning out on your phone to procrastinate on all of the responsibilities that are being thrown at you as you prepare for Christmas. If you relate to this you might be in a position where you are in the weeds of the details and logistics of planning for Christmas. But is this the true meaning of Christmas? If we are blatantly honest with ourselves, the meaning of Christmas isn’t about all of the fluffy extras: gifts, perfect home decor, best outfit, everyone getting along… you see where I’m going with this. It is about reflecting and meditating on the miracle of Jesus coming to us in the flesh in a manger to showcase his love for us. Jesus’ birth fulfilled God’s promise of a Messiah, bringing hope, peace, and joy to a broken world. His arrival marked the beginning of God’s plan to reconcile us to Himself through His life, death, and resurrection! I’m not saying that the fluffy extras are bad, but they should not be what is the driving factor for you in celebrating Christmas.

Let go of perfection:

I recently read a great way to describe the pressure that the world puts on us as we prepare for Christmas; to make everything perfect. However, if we pause and remember why we celebrate Christmas in the first place we are reminded that Jesus entered our imperfect world in a humble stable, not a five-star inn. If your tree is lopsided or the cookies burn, let it be a reminder that God’s grace meets us in our imperfections.

Consider the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42. While Martha was distracted by preparations, Mary chose to sit at Jesus' feet and listen to Him. Jesus gently reminded Martha that Mary had chosen what was better. This story teaches us that it’s more important to focus on Christ’s presence than on perfect appearances.

Healthy Boundaries this Christmas:

Christmas is also a time to be intentional about how you spend your time. It’s important to ask yourself, are you able to spend time with God if you are running around to all of the places, possibly out of guilt? Or maybe you find yourself in situations feeling obligated to be there because you do not want to hurt someone’s feelings. Holidays can be a little tricky as so many people are usually involved. However, I want to remind you that at the end of the day, YOU are responsible for your feelings, behaviors, and attitudes, NOT for others. Of course, you should still care for others, BUT you should not sacrifice your boundaries, your peace, and your own time in the midst of caring for others. 

As you navigate the Christmas season, remember that peace isn’t found in perfectly executed plans but in the presence of Christ. By keeping your eyes on Him, you can experience a Christmas filled with peace and joy that only He can provide. Let this be the year you truly embrace this! You are the only one in control of what you say yes and no to!

www.Rocksolidfamilies.org

A Family's Guide to Memorizing Scripture and Growing Together in Faith

Memorizing Scripture is an essential part of a person's faith journey. Knowing scripture helps us fight spiritual battles by guarding our hearts, guarding our minds, and by helping us keep our thoughts and actions aligned with God's truth. Even during seasons of depression, anxiety, or when we question our self-worth, scripture reminds us where we find our strength and purpose - in Jesus Christ! In times of grief or uncertainty, memorizing scripture also helps us remember that God is our source of peace that surpasses all understanding. Only He has the power to take away our worries and replace them with peace and reassurance.

My family started practicing memory verses when my son started preschool. The teachers at his school would come up with a memory verse to practice as a class each month and the class would recite it together daily and read about it in the Bible. Our son was so excited about his ability to memorize scripture that he’d walk into the office at the end of the day to recite his verse and earn a sticker! So, to encourage him and his love for God's word, we started memorizing it at home as a family. When he left preschool and started kindergarten at our local public school, we implemented our own memory verse of the month as a way to continue his, and ours, spiritual growth.

When we are confident in our knowledge of Scripture, we are more prepared to share God’s truth with others, helping to create new believers and grow His kingdom. To put it simply, memorizing Scripture not only strengthens our own faith, but also empowers us to be effective witnesses of God’s love and truth in the world.

I encourage your family to start memorizing scripture together! Reading and knowing God's word lays a firm foundation for a lifelong journey of faith not only in yourself, but your family and friends as well. When children learn Bible verses early on, they start to internalize God’s truth earlier in their lives. This helps shape their character and guide their choices and actions as they grow into adults. Knowing God's word can also give children (and adults) a sense of security and confidence, knowing they can turn to God’s Word for comfort and wisdom in any situation. As your family grows both physically and spiritually, the verses they've memorized will be a source of strength and peace. By planting these “seeds” of truth early, you are helping ensure that their faith is deeply rooted and capable of withstanding life's storms.

Here are 10 different verses that are short, but impactful, and easy for family members of all ages to memorize:

(These verses were sourced from various translations of the Bible)

1. 1 Peter 5:7 - Give all your worries to Him because He cares for you.

2. Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves you all the time. 

3. Psalm 56:3 - When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

4. Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another.

5. John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son. 

6. Matthew 4:19 - “Come and follow me”, Jesus said.

7. Psalm 150:6 - Let everything that breathes praise the Lord.

8. Proverbs 16:24 - Pleasant words are like honeycomb. They make a person happy and healthy. 

9. Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

10. Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

And for fun, here is a bonus verse for parents to teach their children: 

Ephesians 6:1 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 

I recognize that memorizing scripture is sometimes easier said than done. So I want to provide you with 5 tips to help you memorize scripture:

• Start small. Don’t feel like you need to memorize a full chapter of the Bible. There are plenty of short verses that are impactful, maybe start there! 

• Put hand motions to the words. Here is an example of what hand motions for Matthew 4:19 might look like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXq2IhZdlX4 

• Write the verse on a piece of paper and put it somewhere where you will see it often. This may be on a post-it note at your desk, a note stuck on the side of the fridge, or a sign hanging next to the front door so you see it every day on your way to work and school. 

• Say the verse out loud 2 times a day with a family member or a friend. 

• Sing the words of the verse to the rhythm of a song that you enjoy. 

I hope you found this blog insightful, helpful, and that you feel encouraged to impress the word of God on your heart and the hearts of those you love.

For more content related to faith, family and everything in between, Follow Rock Solid Families on social media and check out the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts. 

www.Rocksolidfamilies.org

What is the adoption and fostering process REALLY like?

The movie Sound of Hope is based on a true story about the town of Possum Trot Texas, and how the community came together and adopted 77 children who were in the foster care system at that time. The movie depicts the process of fostering and adopting well, without showing some of the most grueling details… but when watching the film, your mind can put the pieces together and imagine the awful experiences some of these kids went through. 

We are called to protect the orphans and the widows. In the bible, Proverbs 31:8 reminds us that we should speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and James 1:27 tells us that pure religion is understanding who God is in our lives, and how he wants us to show up in the lives of those around us. It takes sacrifice of what we want and need to help other people. 

As many people know, the founders of Rock Solid Families, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson, adopted 3 children in 2017. These children were in the school that Merrill worked in at the time. This was their 5th school and 5th family, and when he caught wind that they were going to be separated and sent to different homes in different parts of the state, he went home and asked Linda what she thought about adopting them.

Much like one of the main characters in the Sound of Hope film, Linda Hutchinson had a passion for adopting. She didn't think the opportunity would present itself after her 2 biological children had graduated and moved out of the house, but God’s timing doesn’t always align with our own.

When considering fostering or adopting, it is so easy to have “Rose-colored glasses” on. You start to imagine the life that you can provide for the child you are adopting, whether it’s imagining birthday parties, family vacations, sports games, or Christmas mornings. But outside of those initial heartwarming feelings, there are difficulties, challenges, and baggage.

Based on their own experiences, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson share with us 7 things to consider when you are considering fostering or adopting children.

1. Are you all in? When fostering or adopting, a child's heart is at stake. This process is not just something you can “try it for a little while” to see how it goes. The child in your care needs mom and dad to be on the same page from the beginning so that they can provide a secure and stable home environment.
   

2. Take off the rose-colored glasses. As mentioned earlier, this is the period where you are feeling heartwarming emotions as you imagine the life you will be able to give a child. This is similar to lust. But fostering and adopting is more comparable to love - it is a choice and the process comes with challenges that you need to be willing to work through. 
   

3. Examine your expectations…and then lower them. This goes for expectations of yourself, your family and your friends. Its easy to think that once the child is officially adopted, life will go back to “normal”, but that simply isn’t always the case. There will be an adjustment period where you navigate living together, how to approach communication, how to handle each other's emotions, and observe how they interact with your family and friends. You will need to be realistic, and plan for extending lots of grace during that initial transition. 
   

4. Ask yourself, Is God at the center of my decision? If you don’t have the wisdom of God’s word, you don’t have what is needed to get through the challenges of the adoption process by yourself. It requires prayer, constantly inviting God into the process to reveal next steps and His extended grace. 
   

5. Evaluate your resources. Who do you have that is going to be on your team? Is it family, church friends? Neighbors? They will be your village during this process, so it is important that they are supportive. The foster care system will also provide some material resources, but when you are doing it for the right reasons, God will provide through your community support. 
   

6. Recognize that  you will have “nay-sayers”. There will be people who don’t think you should adopt. They will say things like “You don’t know what you’re doing.” or “This realy isn’t a good idea.” This may plant seeds of doubt and fear in your mind, but the decision is between Mom, Dad and God. Not the nay-sayers. Remember, once you commit to this process, there is no turning back, so don’t let their negative words get in the way of the process.
   

7. There will be several seasons of the adoption process. Just like there are seasons of parenting, there will be seasons of adopting. The early seasons will be full of awkward moments, figuring out what memories from the past triggers the child, and testing the boundaries. Seasons after that will start to feel more comfortable, where they start to get more comfortable calling you by the names you agreed upon – whether its Mom and Dad or by your first names. 

Our challenge to you is to not only consider how adoption changes the life of a child, but how it can change YOU as well. We encourage you to listen to Episode # 269 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast to hear the heartwarming comments about how adoption changed both Merrill and Linda for the better! 

For more content related to Faith, Family, and Fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

What does a "Strong Dad" look like?

In the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32) a father had 2 sons. One was a rule follower and the other was more of a rebel. The rebellious son had asked for his inheritance early, and when he received it, he fled from his father’s home to go “live it up” in a distant city.

After blowing through his inheritance, he finds himself with nothing left and decides to return home. Upon his return, his father is relieved to see him alive and to have him back….so much so that he throws a party to celebrate!

Now remember, a parable is not a true story. Parables are Jesus’ way of creating a human understanding of God's qualities and desires for us. In this parable, the father of the prodigal son is manifesting the role of God our Father - celebrating His children opening their eyes and turning to Him!

In episode # 291 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson deep dive into the story of the prodigal son and reveal 6 characteristics of the father in the story that help us understand what it means to be a “Strong dad” today.  Those 6 characteristics are outlined below:

Six Characteristics of a “Strong Dad”:

1.       Unconditional Love: In the parable of the prodigal son, the father's love transcends his son's rebellion. He doesn't withhold affection as punishment. For Dads Today: Show your love consistently through your actions and words. Let your children know they are loved regardless of their choices.  You don’t have to love their choices but work hard to love them through their choices. When you see a bad choice make sure to separate them from the choice in your judgment.  For example, say “Your choice is ridiculous.” versus  “You are ridiculous”.

 2.       Allow Freewill - The father of the prodigal son did not try to stop, redirect, or even threaten his son to change his mind.  He allowed the son to make his own decision to leave. For Dads Today, obviously we are not recommending this for a young child.  But as our children turn into young adults, we must strongly consider releasing them to their ways. 

3.       Patient Trust vs Aggressive Chase: The father in the parable waits patiently rather than running after his son. He trusts that there is going to be good that comes from all of this. He may have felt impatient and wanted God to deliver his son back to him faster, but this is not mentioned in the parable.  For Dads Today: Practice patience. Growth takes time. Trust your children's ability to learn their own lessons and make amends.

4.       Unending Desire for Restoration: The father in the parable never “writes him off”.  He's constantly aware and watching for his return.  For Dads Today: Be observant. Pay attention to your children's subtle cues, their joys and struggles. Be present in their lives.

5.       Unconditional Forgiveness: The father of the prodigal son doesn't look at his son and say, “You need to apologize to me before I can forgive you.”   He embraces his son the moment he sees him, demonstrating immense compassion.  For Dads Today: Focus on reconciliation, not punishment. Let forgiveness be a bridge to rebuild the relationship and mutual respect.

6.       Celebrate God’s Work: The father throws a feast, not out of obligation, but out of joy for his son's return. He gives freely, restoring his son's dignity. For Dads Today: Be generous with your love, time, and resources. Celebrate your children's victories, big and small.

To listen to the full Rock Solid Families podcast episode on this topic, click HERE.

For more content related to faith, family, and fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Are We Teaching Our Kids to be Consumers or Producers?

We are all naturally both a consumer and a producer, but our mindset determines what energy we put back into the world around us - Are we a giver or a taker? It is easy to be consumer-minded with all of the instant gratification and access to all sorts of resources at our fingertips. (Think Amazon same day or next day delivery…talk about on-demand! )

Our kids are also experiencing this commercialized consumer mindset. They tend to demand more and more as they get older, trying to stay on top of the trendiest shoes and clothing, “needing” a new car on their sixteenth birthday, wanting more freedom, and the list goes on. But what they don’t always think about is that these demands and freedoms come with having more responsibilities. By giving in to our children’s every demand and desire, we are encouraging a consumer mindset, avoiding their responsibilities, and setting them up for failure.

As parents, it is our job to help them understand what is involved with their wants and needs. How much something costs, the time needed to make it happen, necessary resources, etc. This teaching should start in the leadership season of parenting, when children are between the ages of 3 - 13, and be reinforced during the mentoring season (Ages 13-18).

In episode # 288 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson provide us with 10 simple ways we can ensure we are raising producers (givers/servers) and not consumers (takers).

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1.) Make sure you are unified as parents.
It is important to be on the same page as your spouse and make sure that the family values are established. Oftentimes kids will try to put mom and dad against each other, and when it falters, it can lead to resentment between parents and becomes more of a marital issue than a parenting issue.

2.) State what you want for your kids.
Not in the current moment, but in the long run. Who do you want them to be when they are around the age of 18-21? What do you want them to be like?

3.) Teach them the importance of contributing to the family.
Whether it is doing daily or weekly chores, helping set up or clean up the dinner table, or attending family outings or activities. Family comes first and its beneficial to reflect on how their actions affect the family as a whole - is it impactful or hurtful?

4.) Let your kids know the cost of things that they consume and what it takes for you to provide those things.
Don’t use this to guilt them or when you have given something or done something as a gift. Instead, use this to teach them the cost of items in terms of hours of work or time spent to achieve the goal.

5.) Encourage opportunities for them to be responsible.
Simple chores offer opportunities for children to be held responsible and are a great way to start contributing to the greater good of the family unit. Whether it is feeding the dog, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, or cleaning their rooms, it helps them see the world outside of themselves, and how what they do impacts not just themselves, but others around them.

6.) Teach them to serve and give while using their time, talents, and treasures.
Serving others with your time and talents helps create leaders! If you aren’t sure what your gifts or talents are, you can take this spiritual gifts assessment and it will provide you with ways that you might enjoy or excel at while serving others.

7.) Teach them to appreciate the things they have.
We can’t expect our children to naturally have an appreciation for the things they have. We need to teach them to appreciate their things by taking care of our stuff and being thankful. This can be taught by making sure they have some investment in the things they have. This could look like them saving up to help pay for an expensive electronic they really want, cleaning their car (inside and out!), or cleaning up and selling that dirt bike they just HAD to have 2 months after buying it because it wasn’t as fun as they thought it would be.

8.) Don’t do things for them that they are capable of doing themselves - Yes, I’m talking to you too, Moms!
It’s so easy to fall into this trap of doing things for our children because it’ll get done quicker, it’ll get done correctly, and it will get done the first time we ask. But children are usually capable of doing more than we think. I challenge you to stretch what you think they are capable of and then ask them to do it. If we do everything for them, they won’t learn to do things for themselves and will be stuck in this consumer mindset thinking that “someone else will do it.” or “its not my job to do that.”

9.) Give them examples of people who have chosen a dominant life as consumers as well as those who have chosen to be producers.
The story of Elvis Presley comes to mind on this one. On the outside, he seemed to have it all together - he had the fame and the fortune. He was well-known and well-liked by his fans but behind the scenes, he was narcissistic and rude to his staff and crew. Turns out, he grew up poor and with an overprotective mom who did everything for him as a way of her coping with the loss of another child.

10.) Let them know that you did not invent this function of parenting.  It was invented by Christ!
Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for man.” It is God’s will for us to live a life like Jesus and for Jesus. Jesus was the perfect example of how we should live, and if he lived to serve others, we should too!

Click HERE to watch the full episode from Rock Solid Families on raising producers verses consumer.

For more content on topics of faith, family and fitness, subscribe to Rock Solid Families Podcast on youtube or listen on apple podcast and spotify.

Are We Bringing People to Christ or Driving Them Away?

Have you ever been turned off by someone's hard-driving fire and brimstone evangelism? It typically comes with great fervor and good intention, but the delivery leaves a lot to be desired.

We are currently living in a time when church participation is dropping and people are making their own “gods” to fulfill their needs. When asked about following Jesus or being Christian they make statements like, "I tried it once and it's not for me.” but If we dig down a little deeper, we often find that people had a bad experience within a church, or with "church" people, and they turn the other way for answers.

In The Great Commission, Jesus tells us to go and make disciples of all nations. Yes, we are to bring people to Christ, but as Christians, why are we finding ourselves driving so many people away?

The answer often comes down to the delivery of the content. When we greet non-believers and assume they already know the way of Christ, and that they are willing to jump right onto the path, we are ignorant of their readiness to make such a leap (or life change).

In bringing people to Christ, we often come across as Pharisees who are moving at one speed. We think everyone else should be keeping up with us and when they don't, we often get impatient and begin to act with contempt in our hearts and think things like, “Why can they be more like me?” or “Why aren’t they as passionate about this as I am?”

In episode 286 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda discuss how to approach people as Christ himself demonstrated time and time again - with gentleness, kindness, and respect. He met people where they were and encouraged them to move to someplace better. He helped quench their thirst with the "well of living water". This is a thirst that all of us have…. It’s the desire to quench our understanding of our purpose and how it fits into the universe.

If we truly want to bring people to Christ, we must not get trapped in our own pharisaical, self-righteous delivery of the greatest message concerning the greatest man that ever lived. We must learn to meet people where they are and move them to a better place with gentleness and respect.

So as Christians, how do we love people where they are at?
Merrill and Linda give us a few tips to help guide us:

• Hate the sin, not the sinner:

  1. We are not meant to cast people out or identify them by their sin. (Mark 2: 16-17) We are all much more and much bigger than the sins we commit.

• Base your decision-making on God's word.

  • Try to leave your opinion out of it. This one could be difficult if you are trying to teach the word of God to a non-believer. But this is where the gentleness and love come into play…. Don’t be condemning or judgmental.

• Wrap yourself in the definition of “Agape Love”.

  •   Agape love is God's love. It is unwavering, it is of God and From God, whose very nature is Love. You can wrap yourself in agape love by showing that you care and by putting others first. Remember, you don’t need to “like” someone to show agape love.

• Know the difference between acceptance and agreement.

  • People tend to think that if we don’t accept them, we reject them. But that simply isn’t the case. Accepting is that you understand where they are in life, and you comprehend what they are doing and what they have going on.

The Bible may contain the words, but we are to deliver the message. It is our responsibility to spread the good news and grow God’s kingdom for His glory! If you need encouragement or further instruction on how to deliver God’s word with love and gentleness, we encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4- 8.

For more content like this, check out our Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube!

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

You're Not Enough, But God Is!

The endless search for contentment and completion in life can be exhausting. Looking for people and things that make us feel like we finally have it all together is the great quest, but is this the quest we were meant to take? Merrill and Linda break this down for us in Episode # 285 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast.

The great philosophers have repeated over and over that we can not find life happiness in people and things. We must go elsewhere. But where is the elsewhere? To put it simply, we start our journey to completion and contentment by grounding ourselves in the knowledge that we are created by God, on purpose, and for a purpose - to glorify Him. To say or think that we are “not enough” is a slap in God’s face, because he doesn’t make mistakes, and he doesn’t create “junk.” We were never created to be enough, nor were we created to do life alone! We need God, and we need to be in community with other people who have different gifts and talents from us. No one can do life alone. We are to be in service and adoration of all that He desires for our lives, not what we desire.

Mankind has been pursuing their own desires all the way back to the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. It’s trying to chase something of greater value within ourselves rather than chasing God. Satan tells us that if we have money, power, prestige, or certain people in our lives, then we will be complete. But, Satan is also the author of all lies! Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ’s strength, not our own!

I encourage you all to take the time to reflect on how you have chased after things that are more about you than God. How can you better use your time and talents to serve Him versus serving yourself or the world? When we start to figure this out for ourselves, we begin to recognize contentment in knowing who we are in Christ, and in our God given purpose.

If you find yourself struggling to find contentment in your life and need help, please reach out to Rock Solid Families. Our desire for you is that you learn to align yourself with God's way and experience contentment that goes beyond human understanding.

www.rocksolidfamilies.org