Ready Or Not...

Are you prepared to be swept off of your feet by your bridegroom? And no, we aren’t talking about your spouse, we’re talking about Jesus Christ!

In Matthew 25:1 -13, Jesus tells us the parable of the 10 virgins. In this parable, 10 virgins await their bridegroom. They all bring an oil lamp, but only 5 of them bring extra oil for the wait. The bridegroom arrives unexpectedly, and the 5 lamps with extra oil stay lit, while the other 5 flames extinguish. The 5 virgins beg for the others to share their extra oil, but they do not. Instead, they have to leave to go get more. When they return, it is too late - the others and the bridegroom had already left for the wedding feast.

The refusal of the five wise virgins to share their lamp oil in the Parable of the 10 Virgins is a point of debate and interpretation. Here's a breakdown of two perspectives:

Perspective one:

Sharing the oil could leave all 10 lamps flickering or extinguished, which would prevent them from fulfilling their purpose of guiding the way. This emphasizes that our faith (the lamp) needs to be accompanied by effort (the oil) in order to be effective.

Perspective two:

The oil represents our personal journey of faith and good deeds. Sharing the oil would not magically transfer spiritual preparedness to those we share it with. This emphasizes that faith is an individual responsibility, not a shared one, requiring each person to cultivate their own connection and relationship with Jesus.

Either way you look at it, this parable teaches us that our faith and spiritual development are personal journeys and we can't rely solely on others for guidance. Maybe the virgins could have offered guidance on acquiring oil (representing ways to strengthen faith) instead of sharing their limited supply.

Our challenge to you going forward is to live a life of faith and good deed. Focus on strengthening your beliefs and living a life that aligns with your values and Gods word. Continue to develop yourself spiritually by striving to learn, grown and become a better person. Be prepared for change. Life is unpredictable, so be open to adapting and facing challenges with a positive outlook. Finally, maintain your faith. Do not let the distractions or difficulties of the world diminish your core beliefs.

To listen to the full podcast episode about the Parable of The 10 Virgins, click here.

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For more podcast episodes regarding faith, family, and fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

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What does a "Strong Dad" look like?

In the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32) a father had 2 sons. One was a rule follower and the other was more of a rebel. The rebellious son had asked for his inheritance early, and when he received it, he fled from his father’s home to go “live it up” in a distant city.

After blowing through his inheritance, he finds himself with nothing left and decides to return home. Upon his return, his father is relieved to see him alive and to have him back….so much so that he throws a party to celebrate!

Now remember, a parable is not a true story. Parables are Jesus’ way of creating a human understanding of God's qualities and desires for us. In this parable, the father of the prodigal son is manifesting the role of God our Father - celebrating His children opening their eyes and turning to Him!

In episode # 291 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson deep dive into the story of the prodigal son and reveal 6 characteristics of the father in the story that help us understand what it means to be a “Strong dad” today.  Those 6 characteristics are outlined below:

Six Characteristics of a “Strong Dad”:

1.       Unconditional Love: In the parable of the prodigal son, the father's love transcends his son's rebellion. He doesn't withhold affection as punishment. For Dads Today: Show your love consistently through your actions and words. Let your children know they are loved regardless of their choices.  You don’t have to love their choices but work hard to love them through their choices. When you see a bad choice make sure to separate them from the choice in your judgment.  For example, say “Your choice is ridiculous.” versus  “You are ridiculous”.

 2.       Allow Freewill - The father of the prodigal son did not try to stop, redirect, or even threaten his son to change his mind.  He allowed the son to make his own decision to leave. For Dads Today, obviously we are not recommending this for a young child.  But as our children turn into young adults, we must strongly consider releasing them to their ways. 

3.       Patient Trust vs Aggressive Chase: The father in the parable waits patiently rather than running after his son. He trusts that there is going to be good that comes from all of this. He may have felt impatient and wanted God to deliver his son back to him faster, but this is not mentioned in the parable.  For Dads Today: Practice patience. Growth takes time. Trust your children's ability to learn their own lessons and make amends.

4.       Unending Desire for Restoration: The father in the parable never “writes him off”.  He's constantly aware and watching for his return.  For Dads Today: Be observant. Pay attention to your children's subtle cues, their joys and struggles. Be present in their lives.

5.       Unconditional Forgiveness: The father of the prodigal son doesn't look at his son and say, “You need to apologize to me before I can forgive you.”   He embraces his son the moment he sees him, demonstrating immense compassion.  For Dads Today: Focus on reconciliation, not punishment. Let forgiveness be a bridge to rebuild the relationship and mutual respect.

6.       Celebrate God’s Work: The father throws a feast, not out of obligation, but out of joy for his son's return. He gives freely, restoring his son's dignity. For Dads Today: Be generous with your love, time, and resources. Celebrate your children's victories, big and small.

To listen to the full Rock Solid Families podcast episode on this topic, click HERE.

For more content related to faith, family, and fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

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Are you Having an Emotional Affair?: How to Recognize and Prevent Emotional Affairs in Your Marriage.

Often when people think of an affair, they think of something physical. But lurking around every corner is an opportunity for emotional affairs. They seem innocent on the surface, but they can be extremely damaging.

An emotional affair is a close or intimate relationship with someone outside of your marriage. Typically you share your thoughts and emotions with this person, you have common likes/dislikes, or you may tell them about your dreams, secrets, and fantasies. This emotional attachment can quickly turn into something more, as It creates thoughts of, “wow! This person is special or different than my spouse.” You are in it deep when that person starts to take up a lot of your heart and head space.

Jesus warns us about this in the Bible. In Matthew 5:27-28 is says “You have heard that it was said ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

So what are the signs of an emotional affair and what can we do to safeguard our hearts and prevent emotional affairs from affecting our marriages? These guidelines below are for any couple who wants to protect their marriage, not just people who have experienced an affair within their marriage.

Signs of an emotional affair and why they are dangerous:

• Mind shift- This person begins to occupy space in your mind.  Your thoughts, dreams, and even fantasies begin to include them, and its almost always at the expense of excluding your spouse.

• Time Shift- This is when you crave to be around the other person, and you start to change where you spend your time. Often you are wherever the other person is… the gym, work, etc. This leads to prioritizing time with the other person over your spouse.

• Emotional Shift- You crave a deeper connection with the other person and start to care about them more than you do a friend or co-worker. Emotions start to develop and they are fuel to the emotional affair fire, motivating us to spend our time and energy on this person. It is in this shift that emotions get harder and harder to resist.

• Intimacy Shift- You are now desiring to be involved with this person in the deepest parts of your life. Going on adventures together, being in a relationship, and fantasizing of sexual activities.

The shifting process happens quickly, and it is like quicksand. It is a dangerous situation to be in with someone who isn’t your spouse, especially if the other person involved is unaware of your thoughts and feelings towards them. That puts everyone in an awkward position.

How to prevent emotional affairs:

• Stop walking in the denial. See the situation for what it is versus telling yourself “Its not that big of a deal”.

• Don’t be ignorant: Just because you aren’t having feelings or fantasies about someone, doesn’t mean they aren’t taking your relationship the wrong way. You offering a listening ear, or inviting that specific co-worker to lunch could indicate to them that you are interested in pursuing a closer relationship.
  

How to protect yourself and your marriage from emotional affairs:

• Prioritize your spouse: Make regular time for them - whether it’s date nights or meaningful conversations.

• Maintain open communication: Be open and honest in your communication with your spouse. Are you doing a daily check-in to see how they are doing or how their day was? Communication is key and check-ins can make your spouse feel heard, appreciated, and cared for.

• Set healthy boundaries: Establish boundaries with friends, co-workers, and people of the opposite sex. Think of it as putting up a picket fence up around your marriage - no one can get in without going through the gate. Be a good “gatekeeper”! You can also follow the “Billy Graham Rule”, which is something some spouses practice by not allowing themselves to dine, travel, or go out to an event with a person of the opposite sex without their spouse with them. This eliminates the chances for the emotional attachment to grow in an unhealthy way, and it prevents people from talking about you if they see you in public with another man or woman.

• Nurture your marriage: Invest in activities that strengthen your bond with your spouse - feed into each other. This could look like going to the movies, participating in your spouse’s hobbies, dinner out or at home, etc.

• Seek Help: Not from your family and friends, who tend to take sides in situations like this. Seek professional help from someone who can call you out, tell you what you NEED to hear, and help you work through it.

Matthew 19: 4-6 says, “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Separation causes wounds, and when a marriage is separated due to an emotional affair, people get hurt.

Our Challenge to you is to give yourself an honest assessment of your thoughts. Where are they at? Who are you thinking about?

To hear more on this topic and to learn more about protecting our marriage from emotional affairs, listen to episode 289 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast.

On this episode, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson of Rock Solid Families dive deeper into the topic of emotional affairs, provide realistic examples of what it may look like in your marriage, and elaborate on how to protect your marriage from the damaging effects.

To hear more content related to family, marriage, and relationships, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcast.

Are We Teaching Our Kids to be Consumers or Producers?

We are all naturally both a consumer and a producer, but our mindset determines what energy we put back into the world around us - Are we a giver or a taker? It is easy to be consumer-minded with all of the instant gratification and access to all sorts of resources at our fingertips. (Think Amazon same day or next day delivery…talk about on-demand! )

Our kids are also experiencing this commercialized consumer mindset. They tend to demand more and more as they get older, trying to stay on top of the trendiest shoes and clothing, “needing” a new car on their sixteenth birthday, wanting more freedom, and the list goes on. But what they don’t always think about is that these demands and freedoms come with having more responsibilities. By giving in to our children’s every demand and desire, we are encouraging a consumer mindset, avoiding their responsibilities, and setting them up for failure.

As parents, it is our job to help them understand what is involved with their wants and needs. How much something costs, the time needed to make it happen, necessary resources, etc. This teaching should start in the leadership season of parenting, when children are between the ages of 3 - 13, and be reinforced during the mentoring season (Ages 13-18).

In episode # 288 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson provide us with 10 simple ways we can ensure we are raising producers (givers/servers) and not consumers (takers).

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1.) Make sure you are unified as parents.
It is important to be on the same page as your spouse and make sure that the family values are established. Oftentimes kids will try to put mom and dad against each other, and when it falters, it can lead to resentment between parents and becomes more of a marital issue than a parenting issue.

2.) State what you want for your kids.
Not in the current moment, but in the long run. Who do you want them to be when they are around the age of 18-21? What do you want them to be like?

3.) Teach them the importance of contributing to the family.
Whether it is doing daily or weekly chores, helping set up or clean up the dinner table, or attending family outings or activities. Family comes first and its beneficial to reflect on how their actions affect the family as a whole - is it impactful or hurtful?

4.) Let your kids know the cost of things that they consume and what it takes for you to provide those things.
Don’t use this to guilt them or when you have given something or done something as a gift. Instead, use this to teach them the cost of items in terms of hours of work or time spent to achieve the goal.

5.) Encourage opportunities for them to be responsible.
Simple chores offer opportunities for children to be held responsible and are a great way to start contributing to the greater good of the family unit. Whether it is feeding the dog, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, or cleaning their rooms, it helps them see the world outside of themselves, and how what they do impacts not just themselves, but others around them.

6.) Teach them to serve and give while using their time, talents, and treasures.
Serving others with your time and talents helps create leaders! If you aren’t sure what your gifts or talents are, you can take this spiritual gifts assessment and it will provide you with ways that you might enjoy or excel at while serving others.

7.) Teach them to appreciate the things they have.
We can’t expect our children to naturally have an appreciation for the things they have. We need to teach them to appreciate their things by taking care of our stuff and being thankful. This can be taught by making sure they have some investment in the things they have. This could look like them saving up to help pay for an expensive electronic they really want, cleaning their car (inside and out!), or cleaning up and selling that dirt bike they just HAD to have 2 months after buying it because it wasn’t as fun as they thought it would be.

8.) Don’t do things for them that they are capable of doing themselves - Yes, I’m talking to you too, Moms!
It’s so easy to fall into this trap of doing things for our children because it’ll get done quicker, it’ll get done correctly, and it will get done the first time we ask. But children are usually capable of doing more than we think. I challenge you to stretch what you think they are capable of and then ask them to do it. If we do everything for them, they won’t learn to do things for themselves and will be stuck in this consumer mindset thinking that “someone else will do it.” or “its not my job to do that.”

9.) Give them examples of people who have chosen a dominant life as consumers as well as those who have chosen to be producers.
The story of Elvis Presley comes to mind on this one. On the outside, he seemed to have it all together - he had the fame and the fortune. He was well-known and well-liked by his fans but behind the scenes, he was narcissistic and rude to his staff and crew. Turns out, he grew up poor and with an overprotective mom who did everything for him as a way of her coping with the loss of another child.

10.) Let them know that you did not invent this function of parenting.  It was invented by Christ!
Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for man.” It is God’s will for us to live a life like Jesus and for Jesus. Jesus was the perfect example of how we should live, and if he lived to serve others, we should too!

Click HERE to watch the full episode from Rock Solid Families on raising producers verses consumer.

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The Harrison Butker Discussion - What Was He Really Saying?

Harrison Butker was invited to give the commencement speech at Benedictine College. You’ve likely seen a clip from his speech online or in the news, but have you listened to the full speech? If you are a Christian living a Christian lifestyle, you will likely find the speech good, but not surprising. However, If you watched the news clips, you likely have the idea that Harrison was trying to command all women to forget about careers and stay home to make babies. That is not what his speech was about. Yes, he touched on topics such as Covid-19 policies, faith, church leadership, and many social issues like abortion and the LGBTQ community, but his message was about standing firm in your beliefs.

Within just a few days, his commencement speech went viral and received 1.2 million views on YouTube. But what caused this uproar?

It could be because, in todays society, many of us identify ourselves by what we believe in, whether it’s our faith or the social issues we feel strongly about. It could also be because his speech reflects the current large division of our country - between conservative traditional values, and progressive liberal values.

On episode 287 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, you will hear Merrill and Linda Hutchinson of Rock Solid Families dive into the context of Harrison's message, the relevance of his audience, and how it relates to the Bible and the beliefs of Catholics and Christians alike. They also discuss WHY it is important to know your faith, whether you're Catholic, Christian, or any other faith, and how you should examine your lifestyle and choices according to your faith. Harrison’s speech, just like Moses in Deuteronomy 6, challenges us to do just that - to stand firm in our faith and what we believe, versus the diabolical lies of the world we live in.

When we stand up for God and our beliefs, we are going to take some heat from the world around us. We see this in the Book of Daniel in the Bible. It is important to teach our families what we believe and why we believe. Harrison’s message to stand firm in your faith is essential to growing our families and children into strong adults who govern themselves by a compass much more effective than their own opinions. Teaching our families to ground their values in unwavering faith will help carry them through the heat the world will attempt to put them through. If you or your kids are feeling like the world is bombarding you with worldly messages, it may be time for you to take a stand like Harrison Butker.

Harrison's Speech:    • Harrison Butker FULL controversial co...   https://rocksolidfamilies.org

Listen to the full Rock Solid Families discussion regarding Harrison Butker’s commencement speech:

Are We Bringing People to Christ or Driving Them Away?

Have you ever been turned off by someone's hard-driving fire and brimstone evangelism? It typically comes with great fervor and good intention, but the delivery leaves a lot to be desired.

We are currently living in a time when church participation is dropping and people are making their own “gods” to fulfill their needs. When asked about following Jesus or being Christian they make statements like, "I tried it once and it's not for me.” but If we dig down a little deeper, we often find that people had a bad experience within a church, or with "church" people, and they turn the other way for answers.

In The Great Commission, Jesus tells us to go and make disciples of all nations. Yes, we are to bring people to Christ, but as Christians, why are we finding ourselves driving so many people away?

The answer often comes down to the delivery of the content. When we greet non-believers and assume they already know the way of Christ, and that they are willing to jump right onto the path, we are ignorant of their readiness to make such a leap (or life change).

In bringing people to Christ, we often come across as Pharisees who are moving at one speed. We think everyone else should be keeping up with us and when they don't, we often get impatient and begin to act with contempt in our hearts and think things like, “Why can they be more like me?” or “Why aren’t they as passionate about this as I am?”

In episode 286 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda discuss how to approach people as Christ himself demonstrated time and time again - with gentleness, kindness, and respect. He met people where they were and encouraged them to move to someplace better. He helped quench their thirst with the "well of living water". This is a thirst that all of us have…. It’s the desire to quench our understanding of our purpose and how it fits into the universe.

If we truly want to bring people to Christ, we must not get trapped in our own pharisaical, self-righteous delivery of the greatest message concerning the greatest man that ever lived. We must learn to meet people where they are and move them to a better place with gentleness and respect.

So as Christians, how do we love people where they are at?
Merrill and Linda give us a few tips to help guide us:

• Hate the sin, not the sinner:

  1. We are not meant to cast people out or identify them by their sin. (Mark 2: 16-17) We are all much more and much bigger than the sins we commit.

• Base your decision-making on God's word.

  • Try to leave your opinion out of it. This one could be difficult if you are trying to teach the word of God to a non-believer. But this is where the gentleness and love come into play…. Don’t be condemning or judgmental.

• Wrap yourself in the definition of “Agape Love”.

  •   Agape love is God's love. It is unwavering, it is of God and From God, whose very nature is Love. You can wrap yourself in agape love by showing that you care and by putting others first. Remember, you don’t need to “like” someone to show agape love.

• Know the difference between acceptance and agreement.

  • People tend to think that if we don’t accept them, we reject them. But that simply isn’t the case. Accepting is that you understand where they are in life, and you comprehend what they are doing and what they have going on.

The Bible may contain the words, but we are to deliver the message. It is our responsibility to spread the good news and grow God’s kingdom for His glory! If you need encouragement or further instruction on how to deliver God’s word with love and gentleness, we encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4- 8.

For more content like this, check out our Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube!

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You're Not Enough, But God Is!

The endless search for contentment and completion in life can be exhausting. Looking for people and things that make us feel like we finally have it all together is the great quest, but is this the quest we were meant to take? Merrill and Linda break this down for us in Episode # 285 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast.

The great philosophers have repeated over and over that we can not find life happiness in people and things. We must go elsewhere. But where is the elsewhere? To put it simply, we start our journey to completion and contentment by grounding ourselves in the knowledge that we are created by God, on purpose, and for a purpose - to glorify Him. To say or think that we are “not enough” is a slap in God’s face, because he doesn’t make mistakes, and he doesn’t create “junk.” We were never created to be enough, nor were we created to do life alone! We need God, and we need to be in community with other people who have different gifts and talents from us. No one can do life alone. We are to be in service and adoration of all that He desires for our lives, not what we desire.

Mankind has been pursuing their own desires all the way back to the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. It’s trying to chase something of greater value within ourselves rather than chasing God. Satan tells us that if we have money, power, prestige, or certain people in our lives, then we will be complete. But, Satan is also the author of all lies! Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ’s strength, not our own!

I encourage you all to take the time to reflect on how you have chased after things that are more about you than God. How can you better use your time and talents to serve Him versus serving yourself or the world? When we start to figure this out for ourselves, we begin to recognize contentment in knowing who we are in Christ, and in our God given purpose.

If you find yourself struggling to find contentment in your life and need help, please reach out to Rock Solid Families. Our desire for you is that you learn to align yourself with God's way and experience contentment that goes beyond human understanding.

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Bring Out the Best in Your Spouse

Marriage was created by God and it is meant to be a blessing. Some days marriage can be harder than others, but scripture instructs us on how to be the best spouse we can be, even when it is difficult.

Merrill and Linda dive into the books of Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, James, and Matthew to teach us different ways we can bring out the best in our spouse, which ultimately brings out the best in your marriage. If you listen to episode # 284 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, you may even get to hear them banter back and forth about their own marriage experiences as well. ;)

Here are 6 ways you can bring the best out in your spouse:

1.) Recognize you are on the same team and are equal players in this endeavor. Ephesians 5 tells us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. You are in this marriage together, on one team. Without love and respect, the team can’t collaborate effectively.

2.) 1 Corinthians 12 states just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. You must focus on your spouse's strengths. You have a choice on what you will focus on when it comes to your spouse, and If you choose to focus on their shortcomings and weaknesses, that is all you will see. Praise them for the good they do, for their strengths. After all, what is praised, is repeated!

3.) Effective communication - James 1:19 says everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak. Merrill and Linda recommend having a conversation with your spouse for at least 10-15 minutes a day. During that check-in you should validate that you are hearing your spouse by acknowledging what they say and do not give advice unless you are asked for it. Instead ask, “How can I help?” or “What do you need from me?” Once that check-in is over, you should be able to walk away with a sense of HOW your spouse is truly doing.

4.) Be your best! Instead of focusing on what your partner is or is not doing, focus on what you can do better to be the best version of yourself, not just for you, but also for your spouse. When focusing on being the best version of yourself, access yourself in the following 3 categories:

- Spiritual Growth - Are you practicing to be more Christ-like?
- Physical Growth - Are you taking care of your body? Are you healthy? Are you fit? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? Are you attractive to your spouse?
- Personal Growth - Are you stretching and challenging yourself in your desires and gifts? Practicing a hobby or taking a new class?

5.) Love them the way they want to be Loved, and learn what makes them feel respected and valuable. This is easier when you know your partner’s Love Language. Is it acts of service? Words of affirmation? Getting gifts? If you don’t know your partner’s love language, we highly encourage you to find out.

6.) Build your life and your relationships on something that is ROCK SOLID. Without a firm foundation that is solid or unshakable, you run the risk of things falling apart pretty quickly. You tend to look out for #1 and focus inward on yourself.  It’s like building your life on sinking sand. The first wave hits and suddenly things are washed away. What are the values you are building your marriage and family on? Is it a strong Christian faith? Even if you are not a person of faith or a church-goer, we still challenge you to give it a try. Start building your life and relationships on something solid like integrity, honesty, faithfulness, kindness, dependability, good work ethic, etc. It not only will bring out the best in your spouse, but yourself as well.

With Christ as the cornerstone of your relationships, you will have a common and firm foundation. Just like the wise builder in Matthew 7, with a foundation built on Christ, your house will not fall. As you grow in your relationship together, we encourage you to pray together and practice forgiveness and grace, just like God does with the Church.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH the Rock Solid Families Podcast episode on Bringing out the best in your spouse here.

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How to Parent Through Excessive Complaining.

In the Bible, Philippians 2: 14-15 says “Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky.”

I think most of us have experienced when our child has one of those days where they are quick to grumble or tell us about every ache or pain they are experiencing. When they are telling you about the aches and pains they are experiencing, it is with such emotion that you wonder how they are even living through it. Five minutes later, you hear laughing and playing outside and you see that same child playing with their friends outside having what seems to be a pain-free time.

Parents today often ask, “So, when should I take my child seriously and when should I go tone deaf or even dismissive of their complaints?” Some modern counselors will tell you that you should never dismiss your child’s complaints, rather, you should validate their complaints. However, the proof is out on this one - sometimes our kids need to know their irrational complaints need to be shut down sooner rather than later and that it is okay to say “NO” to your kids. Someday they may even thank you.

In Episode # 283 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda discuss how to navigate a child’s excessive complaining. However, this episode is not just limited to children. This idea of how to deal with complainers respectfully is common in so many places - work, school, church, etc. Rock Solid Families wants to tackle this topic because it primarily relates to the home and is the first training step to helping our children recognize and deal more appropriately with their own complaints.

Chronic complainers we interact with in life are typically people who have practiced the act of complaining for a long time. Somehow they seem to believe they were successful with this strategy in the past and keep doing it. However, as we talk about how to deal with the complaints of our children, we want to first lay out a few disclaimers and understandings:

You must handle their complaints appropriately for the season they are in. Remember the seasons:
(Click each link below to listen to our podcast episodes on the different seasons of parenting.)

Season 1: Service 0 - 2 yrs - Service Years
Season 2: Leadership 3-13 yrs - Leadership Years
Season 3: Mentoring 13-18/21 yrs - Mentorship Years
Bonus season: Friend and Counsel 21+ - Emancipation Years

If you have a child in the first season, 0-2 years of age, you never dismiss their cries. In the second season - Leadership, 3-13 years of age, this is where the training takes place to help your kids learn the language of how to express what the emotions are behind the complaint. Early in this season, you can help them by teaching them the actual words of the emotion - “Are you feeling angry? Sad? Tired?…. DO NOT GET INTO THE HABIT OF BEING THE RESCUE PARENT - THEY ARE NO LONGER IN SEASON 1.

Begin to teach your child how to problem solve by teaching them how to ask better questions. “What can I do about my complaint?” Later in Season 2 about ages 8-13, if you’re child leans towards the chronic complainer side, teach them PERSPECTIVE. This is where they can begin to look at life through other people’s eyes. It is also the initial way of learning of EMPATHY for others.

Hear more about parenting through the excessive complaining by listening to our podcast at the link below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaxk6U4SLRM&t=1459s

http://rocksolidfamilies.org