The movie Sound of Hope is based on a true story about the town of Possum Trot Texas, and how the community came together and adopted 77 children who were in the foster care system at that time. The movie depicts the process of fostering and adopting well, without showing some of the most grueling details… but when watching the film, your mind can put the pieces together and imagine the awful experiences some of these kids went through.
We are called to protect the orphans and the widows. In the bible, Proverbs 31:8 reminds us that we should speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and James 1:27 tells us that pure religion is understanding who God is in our lives, and how he wants us to show up in the lives of those around us. It takes sacrifice of what we want and need to help other people.
As many people know, the founders of Rock Solid Families, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson, adopted 3 children in 2017. These children were in the school that Merrill worked in at the time. This was their 5th school and 5th family, and when he caught wind that they were going to be separated and sent to different homes in different parts of the state, he went home and asked Linda what she thought about adopting them.
Much like one of the main characters in the Sound of Hope film, Linda Hutchinson had a passion for adopting. She didn't think the opportunity would present itself after her 2 biological children had graduated and moved out of the house, but God’s timing doesn’t always align with our own.
When considering fostering or adopting, it is so easy to have “Rose-colored glasses” on. You start to imagine the life that you can provide for the child you are adopting, whether it’s imagining birthday parties, family vacations, sports games, or Christmas mornings. But outside of those initial heartwarming feelings, there are difficulties, challenges, and baggage.
Based on their own experiences, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson share with us 7 things to consider when you are considering fostering or adopting children.
Are you all in? When fostering or adopting, a child's heart is at stake. This process is not just something you can “try it for a little while” to see how it goes. The child in your care needs mom and dad to be on the same page from the beginning so that they can provide a secure and stable home environment.
Take off the rose-colored glasses. As mentioned earlier, this is the period where you are feeling heartwarming emotions as you imagine the life you will be able to give a child. This is similar to lust. But fostering and adopting is more comparable to love - it is a choice and the process comes with challenges that you need to be willing to work through.
Examine your expectations…and then lower them. This goes for expectations of yourself, your family and your friends. Its easy to think that once the child is officially adopted, life will go back to “normal”, but that simply isn’t always the case. There will be an adjustment period where you navigate living together, how to approach communication, how to handle each other's emotions, and observe how they interact with your family and friends. You will need to be realistic, and plan for extending lots of grace during that initial transition.
Ask yourself, Is God at the center of my decision? If you don’t have the wisdom of God’s word, you don’t have what is needed to get through the challenges of the adoption process by yourself. It requires prayer, constantly inviting God into the process to reveal next steps and His extended grace.
Evaluate your resources. Who do you have that is going to be on your team? Is it family, church friends? Neighbors? They will be your village during this process, so it is important that they are supportive. The foster care system will also provide some material resources, but when you are doing it for the right reasons, God will provide through your community support.
Recognize that you will have “nay-sayers”. There will be people who don’t think you should adopt. They will say things like “You don’t know what you’re doing.” or “This realy isn’t a good idea.” This may plant seeds of doubt and fear in your mind, but the decision is between Mom, Dad and God. Not the nay-sayers. Remember, once you commit to this process, there is no turning back, so don’t let their negative words get in the way of the process.
There will be several seasons of the adoption process. Just like there are seasons of parenting, there will be seasons of adopting. The early seasons will be full of awkward moments, figuring out what memories from the past triggers the child, and testing the boundaries. Seasons after that will start to feel more comfortable, where they start to get more comfortable calling you by the names you agreed upon – whether its Mom and Dad or by your first names.
Our challenge to you is to not only consider how adoption changes the life of a child, but how it can change YOU as well. We encourage you to listen to Episode # 269 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast to hear the heartwarming comments about how adoption changed both Merrill and Linda for the better!
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