What is the adoption and fostering process REALLY like?

The movie Sound of Hope is based on a true story about the town of Possum Trot Texas, and how the community came together and adopted 77 children who were in the foster care system at that time. The movie depicts the process of fostering and adopting well, without showing some of the most grueling details… but when watching the film, your mind can put the pieces together and imagine the awful experiences some of these kids went through. 

We are called to protect the orphans and the widows. In the bible, Proverbs 31:8 reminds us that we should speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and James 1:27 tells us that pure religion is understanding who God is in our lives, and how he wants us to show up in the lives of those around us. It takes sacrifice of what we want and need to help other people. 

As many people know, the founders of Rock Solid Families, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson, adopted 3 children in 2017. These children were in the school that Merrill worked in at the time. This was their 5th school and 5th family, and when he caught wind that they were going to be separated and sent to different homes in different parts of the state, he went home and asked Linda what she thought about adopting them.

Much like one of the main characters in the Sound of Hope film, Linda Hutchinson had a passion for adopting. She didn't think the opportunity would present itself after her 2 biological children had graduated and moved out of the house, but God’s timing doesn’t always align with our own.

When considering fostering or adopting, it is so easy to have “Rose-colored glasses” on. You start to imagine the life that you can provide for the child you are adopting, whether it’s imagining birthday parties, family vacations, sports games, or Christmas mornings. But outside of those initial heartwarming feelings, there are difficulties, challenges, and baggage.

Based on their own experiences, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson share with us 7 things to consider when you are considering fostering or adopting children.

1. Are you all in? When fostering or adopting, a child's heart is at stake. This process is not just something you can “try it for a little while” to see how it goes. The child in your care needs mom and dad to be on the same page from the beginning so that they can provide a secure and stable home environment.
   

2. Take off the rose-colored glasses. As mentioned earlier, this is the period where you are feeling heartwarming emotions as you imagine the life you will be able to give a child. This is similar to lust. But fostering and adopting is more comparable to love - it is a choice and the process comes with challenges that you need to be willing to work through. 
   

3. Examine your expectations…and then lower them. This goes for expectations of yourself, your family and your friends. Its easy to think that once the child is officially adopted, life will go back to “normal”, but that simply isn’t always the case. There will be an adjustment period where you navigate living together, how to approach communication, how to handle each other's emotions, and observe how they interact with your family and friends. You will need to be realistic, and plan for extending lots of grace during that initial transition. 
   

4. Ask yourself, Is God at the center of my decision? If you don’t have the wisdom of God’s word, you don’t have what is needed to get through the challenges of the adoption process by yourself. It requires prayer, constantly inviting God into the process to reveal next steps and His extended grace. 
   

5. Evaluate your resources. Who do you have that is going to be on your team? Is it family, church friends? Neighbors? They will be your village during this process, so it is important that they are supportive. The foster care system will also provide some material resources, but when you are doing it for the right reasons, God will provide through your community support. 
   

6. Recognize that  you will have “nay-sayers”. There will be people who don’t think you should adopt. They will say things like “You don’t know what you’re doing.” or “This realy isn’t a good idea.” This may plant seeds of doubt and fear in your mind, but the decision is between Mom, Dad and God. Not the nay-sayers. Remember, once you commit to this process, there is no turning back, so don’t let their negative words get in the way of the process.
   

7. There will be several seasons of the adoption process. Just like there are seasons of parenting, there will be seasons of adopting. The early seasons will be full of awkward moments, figuring out what memories from the past triggers the child, and testing the boundaries. Seasons after that will start to feel more comfortable, where they start to get more comfortable calling you by the names you agreed upon – whether its Mom and Dad or by your first names. 

Our challenge to you is to not only consider how adoption changes the life of a child, but how it can change YOU as well. We encourage you to listen to Episode # 269 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast to hear the heartwarming comments about how adoption changed both Merrill and Linda for the better! 

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How do you share the Good News with a friend?

It is more than likely that we all have someone in our lives that we can share our faith with. A friend, neighbor, co-worker, or family member who doesn’t know Jesus Christ or who may be in a season of hopelessness. But how do we do that? Some of us aren’t confident enough, aren’t bold enough, or maybe want to do it for selfish reasons of bringing someone to Christ versus doing it because the Holy Spirit laid it on our hearts.

Before we share our own faith, it is important we ask ourselves a few questions first to help evaluate our hearts and intentions…

• Am I modeling an authentic relationship with Christ myself? Am I leading my example? James 2: 14 - 17 reminds us faith without action is dead.

• Have I prayed for this person in your life? Ask God for an open door to share your faith with them. Invite the Holy Spirit into the process. Mark 13: 10 - 12 tells us not to worry about finding the words to say, because God will give us the words to say through the Holy Spirit. Be sure your heart is also open to accepting the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and that your intentions are pure and not selfish.

• Do you know their faith background? Maybe they dont have a faith background, or maybe they have a broken background. Understanding this will help you know where to start in a conversation about faith.

When sharing our faith with others, we need to be BOLD, but also remember that “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18) So approach these conversations with sensitivity, understanding, and wisdom knowing that with friendship comes trust, and it takes a lot of trust to openly discuss faith with others around you.

Once you’ve asked yourself the questions above and evaluated your intentions, you can approach the conversation about faith with family and friends by following six simples steps:

1.) Pick a time when you can talk without any distractions and a place that favors good conversation. This may be over coffee or lunch, walking around the park, or a long drive in the car.

2.) Start by acknowledging how important their friendship is. This will help set the grounds that the conversation to follow is happening out of LOVE and not judgment or condemnation.

3.) Ask open-ended questions. This allows them to answer on a level they are comfortable with and helps you know how to engage on their level. A great example might be, “We don’t talk much about faith, and I’m curious where you stand or what your experience has been.”

4.) Use your own life experience to relate to them and explain how your faith impacted those struggles and experiences. Doing this offers empathy and understanding in the relationship.

5.) Recognize that there are going to be differences in everyone’s walk of faith. Just because you had the conversation and planted the seeds doesn’t mean they will automatically catch up to where you are on your own journey or even have the same faith background. It’s okay to disagree, but be sure to always keep the friendship in good standing.

6.) Offer resources. Invite them to church, recommend books to read, or ask if they need prayer.

All of these steps plant practical seeds in their lives and although we plant seeds, we may not see the fruit of our labor. The walk of faith is a process, not a rush. We must trust that God’s plan and timing are better than ours and that His living water will continue to water the seeds that we have planted in our family and friends.

Remember that our own testimony is the most powerful tool to bring others to Christ, so we must protect our faith and not give into the ways of the world. We challenge you to be BOLD and COURAGEOUS and to share your faith with someone in your life.

To hear more about sharing faith with those around you, listen to episode # 295 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, where Merrill and Linda Hutchinson dive deeper into this topic and provide real-life applications and share experiences from their own walks of faith.

For more content like this, focusing on faith, family, fitness, and everything in between, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on Youtube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

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Ready Or Not...

Are you prepared to be swept off of your feet by your bridegroom? And no, we aren’t talking about your spouse, we’re talking about Jesus Christ!

In Matthew 25:1 -13, Jesus tells us the parable of the 10 virgins. In this parable, 10 virgins await their bridegroom. They all bring an oil lamp, but only 5 of them bring extra oil for the wait. The bridegroom arrives unexpectedly, and the 5 lamps with extra oil stay lit, while the other 5 flames extinguish. The 5 virgins beg for the others to share their extra oil, but they do not. Instead, they have to leave to go get more. When they return, it is too late - the others and the bridegroom had already left for the wedding feast.

The refusal of the five wise virgins to share their lamp oil in the Parable of the 10 Virgins is a point of debate and interpretation. Here's a breakdown of two perspectives:

Perspective one:

Sharing the oil could leave all 10 lamps flickering or extinguished, which would prevent them from fulfilling their purpose of guiding the way. This emphasizes that our faith (the lamp) needs to be accompanied by effort (the oil) in order to be effective.

Perspective two:

The oil represents our personal journey of faith and good deeds. Sharing the oil would not magically transfer spiritual preparedness to those we share it with. This emphasizes that faith is an individual responsibility, not a shared one, requiring each person to cultivate their own connection and relationship with Jesus.

Either way you look at it, this parable teaches us that our faith and spiritual development are personal journeys and we can't rely solely on others for guidance. Maybe the virgins could have offered guidance on acquiring oil (representing ways to strengthen faith) instead of sharing their limited supply.

Our challenge to you going forward is to live a life of faith and good deed. Focus on strengthening your beliefs and living a life that aligns with your values and Gods word. Continue to develop yourself spiritually by striving to learn, grown and become a better person. Be prepared for change. Life is unpredictable, so be open to adapting and facing challenges with a positive outlook. Finally, maintain your faith. Do not let the distractions or difficulties of the world diminish your core beliefs.

To listen to the full podcast episode about the Parable of The 10 Virgins, click here.

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For more podcast episodes regarding faith, family, and fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

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What does a "Strong Dad" look like?

In the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32) a father had 2 sons. One was a rule follower and the other was more of a rebel. The rebellious son had asked for his inheritance early, and when he received it, he fled from his father’s home to go “live it up” in a distant city.

After blowing through his inheritance, he finds himself with nothing left and decides to return home. Upon his return, his father is relieved to see him alive and to have him back….so much so that he throws a party to celebrate!

Now remember, a parable is not a true story. Parables are Jesus’ way of creating a human understanding of God's qualities and desires for us. In this parable, the father of the prodigal son is manifesting the role of God our Father - celebrating His children opening their eyes and turning to Him!

In episode # 291 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson deep dive into the story of the prodigal son and reveal 6 characteristics of the father in the story that help us understand what it means to be a “Strong dad” today.  Those 6 characteristics are outlined below:

Six Characteristics of a “Strong Dad”:

1.       Unconditional Love: In the parable of the prodigal son, the father's love transcends his son's rebellion. He doesn't withhold affection as punishment. For Dads Today: Show your love consistently through your actions and words. Let your children know they are loved regardless of their choices.  You don’t have to love their choices but work hard to love them through their choices. When you see a bad choice make sure to separate them from the choice in your judgment.  For example, say “Your choice is ridiculous.” versus  “You are ridiculous”.

 2.       Allow Freewill - The father of the prodigal son did not try to stop, redirect, or even threaten his son to change his mind.  He allowed the son to make his own decision to leave. For Dads Today, obviously we are not recommending this for a young child.  But as our children turn into young adults, we must strongly consider releasing them to their ways. 

3.       Patient Trust vs Aggressive Chase: The father in the parable waits patiently rather than running after his son. He trusts that there is going to be good that comes from all of this. He may have felt impatient and wanted God to deliver his son back to him faster, but this is not mentioned in the parable.  For Dads Today: Practice patience. Growth takes time. Trust your children's ability to learn their own lessons and make amends.

4.       Unending Desire for Restoration: The father in the parable never “writes him off”.  He's constantly aware and watching for his return.  For Dads Today: Be observant. Pay attention to your children's subtle cues, their joys and struggles. Be present in their lives.

5.       Unconditional Forgiveness: The father of the prodigal son doesn't look at his son and say, “You need to apologize to me before I can forgive you.”   He embraces his son the moment he sees him, demonstrating immense compassion.  For Dads Today: Focus on reconciliation, not punishment. Let forgiveness be a bridge to rebuild the relationship and mutual respect.

6.       Celebrate God’s Work: The father throws a feast, not out of obligation, but out of joy for his son's return. He gives freely, restoring his son's dignity. For Dads Today: Be generous with your love, time, and resources. Celebrate your children's victories, big and small.

To listen to the full Rock Solid Families podcast episode on this topic, click HERE.

For more content related to faith, family, and fitness, subscribe to the Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

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The Harrison Butker Discussion - What Was He Really Saying?

Harrison Butker was invited to give the commencement speech at Benedictine College. You’ve likely seen a clip from his speech online or in the news, but have you listened to the full speech? If you are a Christian living a Christian lifestyle, you will likely find the speech good, but not surprising. However, If you watched the news clips, you likely have the idea that Harrison was trying to command all women to forget about careers and stay home to make babies. That is not what his speech was about. Yes, he touched on topics such as Covid-19 policies, faith, church leadership, and many social issues like abortion and the LGBTQ community, but his message was about standing firm in your beliefs.

Within just a few days, his commencement speech went viral and received 1.2 million views on YouTube. But what caused this uproar?

It could be because, in todays society, many of us identify ourselves by what we believe in, whether it’s our faith or the social issues we feel strongly about. It could also be because his speech reflects the current large division of our country - between conservative traditional values, and progressive liberal values.

On episode 287 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, you will hear Merrill and Linda Hutchinson of Rock Solid Families dive into the context of Harrison's message, the relevance of his audience, and how it relates to the Bible and the beliefs of Catholics and Christians alike. They also discuss WHY it is important to know your faith, whether you're Catholic, Christian, or any other faith, and how you should examine your lifestyle and choices according to your faith. Harrison’s speech, just like Moses in Deuteronomy 6, challenges us to do just that - to stand firm in our faith and what we believe, versus the diabolical lies of the world we live in.

When we stand up for God and our beliefs, we are going to take some heat from the world around us. We see this in the Book of Daniel in the Bible. It is important to teach our families what we believe and why we believe. Harrison’s message to stand firm in your faith is essential to growing our families and children into strong adults who govern themselves by a compass much more effective than their own opinions. Teaching our families to ground their values in unwavering faith will help carry them through the heat the world will attempt to put them through. If you or your kids are feeling like the world is bombarding you with worldly messages, it may be time for you to take a stand like Harrison Butker.

Harrison's Speech:    • Harrison Butker FULL controversial co...   https://rocksolidfamilies.org

Listen to the full Rock Solid Families discussion regarding Harrison Butker’s commencement speech:

Are We Bringing People to Christ or Driving Them Away?

Have you ever been turned off by someone's hard-driving fire and brimstone evangelism? It typically comes with great fervor and good intention, but the delivery leaves a lot to be desired.

We are currently living in a time when church participation is dropping and people are making their own “gods” to fulfill their needs. When asked about following Jesus or being Christian they make statements like, "I tried it once and it's not for me.” but If we dig down a little deeper, we often find that people had a bad experience within a church, or with "church" people, and they turn the other way for answers.

In The Great Commission, Jesus tells us to go and make disciples of all nations. Yes, we are to bring people to Christ, but as Christians, why are we finding ourselves driving so many people away?

The answer often comes down to the delivery of the content. When we greet non-believers and assume they already know the way of Christ, and that they are willing to jump right onto the path, we are ignorant of their readiness to make such a leap (or life change).

In bringing people to Christ, we often come across as Pharisees who are moving at one speed. We think everyone else should be keeping up with us and when they don't, we often get impatient and begin to act with contempt in our hearts and think things like, “Why can they be more like me?” or “Why aren’t they as passionate about this as I am?”

In episode 286 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda discuss how to approach people as Christ himself demonstrated time and time again - with gentleness, kindness, and respect. He met people where they were and encouraged them to move to someplace better. He helped quench their thirst with the "well of living water". This is a thirst that all of us have…. It’s the desire to quench our understanding of our purpose and how it fits into the universe.

If we truly want to bring people to Christ, we must not get trapped in our own pharisaical, self-righteous delivery of the greatest message concerning the greatest man that ever lived. We must learn to meet people where they are and move them to a better place with gentleness and respect.

So as Christians, how do we love people where they are at?
Merrill and Linda give us a few tips to help guide us:

• Hate the sin, not the sinner:

  1. We are not meant to cast people out or identify them by their sin. (Mark 2: 16-17) We are all much more and much bigger than the sins we commit.

• Base your decision-making on God's word.

  • Try to leave your opinion out of it. This one could be difficult if you are trying to teach the word of God to a non-believer. But this is where the gentleness and love come into play…. Don’t be condemning or judgmental.

• Wrap yourself in the definition of “Agape Love”.

  •   Agape love is God's love. It is unwavering, it is of God and From God, whose very nature is Love. You can wrap yourself in agape love by showing that you care and by putting others first. Remember, you don’t need to “like” someone to show agape love.

• Know the difference between acceptance and agreement.

  • People tend to think that if we don’t accept them, we reject them. But that simply isn’t the case. Accepting is that you understand where they are in life, and you comprehend what they are doing and what they have going on.

The Bible may contain the words, but we are to deliver the message. It is our responsibility to spread the good news and grow God’s kingdom for His glory! If you need encouragement or further instruction on how to deliver God’s word with love and gentleness, we encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4- 8.

For more content like this, check out our Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube!

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

You're Not Enough, But God Is!

The endless search for contentment and completion in life can be exhausting. Looking for people and things that make us feel like we finally have it all together is the great quest, but is this the quest we were meant to take? Merrill and Linda break this down for us in Episode # 285 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast.

The great philosophers have repeated over and over that we can not find life happiness in people and things. We must go elsewhere. But where is the elsewhere? To put it simply, we start our journey to completion and contentment by grounding ourselves in the knowledge that we are created by God, on purpose, and for a purpose - to glorify Him. To say or think that we are “not enough” is a slap in God’s face, because he doesn’t make mistakes, and he doesn’t create “junk.” We were never created to be enough, nor were we created to do life alone! We need God, and we need to be in community with other people who have different gifts and talents from us. No one can do life alone. We are to be in service and adoration of all that He desires for our lives, not what we desire.

Mankind has been pursuing their own desires all the way back to the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. It’s trying to chase something of greater value within ourselves rather than chasing God. Satan tells us that if we have money, power, prestige, or certain people in our lives, then we will be complete. But, Satan is also the author of all lies! Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ’s strength, not our own!

I encourage you all to take the time to reflect on how you have chased after things that are more about you than God. How can you better use your time and talents to serve Him versus serving yourself or the world? When we start to figure this out for ourselves, we begin to recognize contentment in knowing who we are in Christ, and in our God given purpose.

If you find yourself struggling to find contentment in your life and need help, please reach out to Rock Solid Families. Our desire for you is that you learn to align yourself with God's way and experience contentment that goes beyond human understanding.

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Bring Out the Best in Your Spouse

Marriage was created by God and it is meant to be a blessing. Some days marriage can be harder than others, but scripture instructs us on how to be the best spouse we can be, even when it is difficult.

Merrill and Linda dive into the books of Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, James, and Matthew to teach us different ways we can bring out the best in our spouse, which ultimately brings out the best in your marriage. If you listen to episode # 284 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, you may even get to hear them banter back and forth about their own marriage experiences as well. ;)

Here are 6 ways you can bring the best out in your spouse:

1.) Recognize you are on the same team and are equal players in this endeavor. Ephesians 5 tells us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. You are in this marriage together, on one team. Without love and respect, the team can’t collaborate effectively.

2.) 1 Corinthians 12 states just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. You must focus on your spouse's strengths. You have a choice on what you will focus on when it comes to your spouse, and If you choose to focus on their shortcomings and weaknesses, that is all you will see. Praise them for the good they do, for their strengths. After all, what is praised, is repeated!

3.) Effective communication - James 1:19 says everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak. Merrill and Linda recommend having a conversation with your spouse for at least 10-15 minutes a day. During that check-in you should validate that you are hearing your spouse by acknowledging what they say and do not give advice unless you are asked for it. Instead ask, “How can I help?” or “What do you need from me?” Once that check-in is over, you should be able to walk away with a sense of HOW your spouse is truly doing.

4.) Be your best! Instead of focusing on what your partner is or is not doing, focus on what you can do better to be the best version of yourself, not just for you, but also for your spouse. When focusing on being the best version of yourself, access yourself in the following 3 categories:

- Spiritual Growth - Are you practicing to be more Christ-like?
- Physical Growth - Are you taking care of your body? Are you healthy? Are you fit? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? Are you attractive to your spouse?
- Personal Growth - Are you stretching and challenging yourself in your desires and gifts? Practicing a hobby or taking a new class?

5.) Love them the way they want to be Loved, and learn what makes them feel respected and valuable. This is easier when you know your partner’s Love Language. Is it acts of service? Words of affirmation? Getting gifts? If you don’t know your partner’s love language, we highly encourage you to find out.

6.) Build your life and your relationships on something that is ROCK SOLID. Without a firm foundation that is solid or unshakable, you run the risk of things falling apart pretty quickly. You tend to look out for #1 and focus inward on yourself.  It’s like building your life on sinking sand. The first wave hits and suddenly things are washed away. What are the values you are building your marriage and family on? Is it a strong Christian faith? Even if you are not a person of faith or a church-goer, we still challenge you to give it a try. Start building your life and relationships on something solid like integrity, honesty, faithfulness, kindness, dependability, good work ethic, etc. It not only will bring out the best in your spouse, but yourself as well.

With Christ as the cornerstone of your relationships, you will have a common and firm foundation. Just like the wise builder in Matthew 7, with a foundation built on Christ, your house will not fall. As you grow in your relationship together, we encourage you to pray together and practice forgiveness and grace, just like God does with the Church.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH the Rock Solid Families Podcast episode on Bringing out the best in your spouse here.

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Embracing Chaos: Finding Purpose in Disaster Relief - Featuring Darin Kroger

“Bringing Help and Hope to Those Who Are Hurting" is the first thing you will see when you visit the Masters of Disaster website. On this week’s Strong Dads podcast (Episode # 231), guest Darin Kroger talks about how he felt nudged by God to swap out comfort for chaos when he switched his career path from IT to operating his non-profit, Masters of Disaster, providing faith-based disaster relief and resources to communities impacted by severe weather -AKA acts of God!

In this episode, Darin shares with us what happened when he began to surrender his heart and talents to the nudging of the Holy Spirit.  Darin had what most of us would think of as a "good life" and by his own admission, it was a good life, but he continued to recognize an itch that wasn't being scratched. An itch for something more. Something that he really had no clue of what it looked like, other than it kept begging his attention.  This itch was in the arena of disaster relief.

Darin has always enjoyed following stormy and severe weather. The kind of weather that can change a person's life in a matter of seconds - tornados, floods, fires, and hurricanes. Most people watch this type of weather unfold from the comfort of their homes while watching the news. We sit back in our recliner and say a prayer for all the people who have been affected. Not to diminish the importance of prayer (because the Bible tells us that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective!) but GOD WANTS US TO DO MORE!  He wants our hearts to be filled with compassion to serve the needs of others and then our hands to carry it out. 

Darin, along with his volunteers, began to operate the Masters of Disaster organization several years ago. Now it is a full-time disaster relief resource for areas within a 4-hour radius of the Greater Cincinnati area.

Darin and his team desire to serve those who are in their greatest time of need by offering emotional & spiritual care, chain sawing, roof tarping, flood redemption, debris clean up, and rebuilding & repair services. Masters of Disaster survival resources and actions are first on the list, then comforts and even wants can begin to fill in the void. Not only do Darin and his team restore the essentials, but as a result, they restore hope in individuals and communities as well.

To listen to episode # 231 of the Strong Dads podcast, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81ghL7QnmG0

For more information about Masters of Disaster, contact them at https://mod-usa.org/contact-mod/.

To learn more about Rock Solid Families and Strong Dads, Visit http://rocksolidfamilies.org.