Are We Bringing People to Christ or Driving Them Away?

Have you ever been turned off by someone's hard-driving fire and brimstone evangelism? It typically comes with great fervor and good intention, but the delivery leaves a lot to be desired.

We are currently living in a time when church participation is dropping and people are making their own “gods” to fulfill their needs. When asked about following Jesus or being Christian they make statements like, "I tried it once and it's not for me.” but If we dig down a little deeper, we often find that people had a bad experience within a church, or with "church" people, and they turn the other way for answers.

In The Great Commission, Jesus tells us to go and make disciples of all nations. Yes, we are to bring people to Christ, but as Christians, why are we finding ourselves driving so many people away?

The answer often comes down to the delivery of the content. When we greet non-believers and assume they already know the way of Christ, and that they are willing to jump right onto the path, we are ignorant of their readiness to make such a leap (or life change).

In bringing people to Christ, we often come across as Pharisees who are moving at one speed. We think everyone else should be keeping up with us and when they don't, we often get impatient and begin to act with contempt in our hearts and think things like, “Why can they be more like me?” or “Why aren’t they as passionate about this as I am?”

In episode 286 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, Merrill and Linda discuss how to approach people as Christ himself demonstrated time and time again - with gentleness, kindness, and respect. He met people where they were and encouraged them to move to someplace better. He helped quench their thirst with the "well of living water". This is a thirst that all of us have…. It’s the desire to quench our understanding of our purpose and how it fits into the universe.

If we truly want to bring people to Christ, we must not get trapped in our own pharisaical, self-righteous delivery of the greatest message concerning the greatest man that ever lived. We must learn to meet people where they are and move them to a better place with gentleness and respect.

So as Christians, how do we love people where they are at?
Merrill and Linda give us a few tips to help guide us:

• Hate the sin, not the sinner:

  1. We are not meant to cast people out or identify them by their sin. (Mark 2: 16-17) We are all much more and much bigger than the sins we commit.

• Base your decision-making on God's word.

  • Try to leave your opinion out of it. This one could be difficult if you are trying to teach the word of God to a non-believer. But this is where the gentleness and love come into play…. Don’t be condemning or judgmental.

• Wrap yourself in the definition of “Agape Love”.

  •   Agape love is God's love. It is unwavering, it is of God and From God, whose very nature is Love. You can wrap yourself in agape love by showing that you care and by putting others first. Remember, you don’t need to “like” someone to show agape love.

• Know the difference between acceptance and agreement.

  • People tend to think that if we don’t accept them, we reject them. But that simply isn’t the case. Accepting is that you understand where they are in life, and you comprehend what they are doing and what they have going on.

The Bible may contain the words, but we are to deliver the message. It is our responsibility to spread the good news and grow God’s kingdom for His glory! If you need encouragement or further instruction on how to deliver God’s word with love and gentleness, we encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 13: 4- 8.

For more content like this, check out our Rock Solid Families Podcast on YouTube!

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

You're Not Enough, But God Is!

The endless search for contentment and completion in life can be exhausting. Looking for people and things that make us feel like we finally have it all together is the great quest, but is this the quest we were meant to take? Merrill and Linda break this down for us in Episode # 285 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast.

The great philosophers have repeated over and over that we can not find life happiness in people and things. We must go elsewhere. But where is the elsewhere? To put it simply, we start our journey to completion and contentment by grounding ourselves in the knowledge that we are created by God, on purpose, and for a purpose - to glorify Him. To say or think that we are “not enough” is a slap in God’s face, because he doesn’t make mistakes, and he doesn’t create “junk.” We were never created to be enough, nor were we created to do life alone! We need God, and we need to be in community with other people who have different gifts and talents from us. No one can do life alone. We are to be in service and adoration of all that He desires for our lives, not what we desire.

Mankind has been pursuing their own desires all the way back to the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. It’s trying to chase something of greater value within ourselves rather than chasing God. Satan tells us that if we have money, power, prestige, or certain people in our lives, then we will be complete. But, Satan is also the author of all lies! Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ’s strength, not our own!

I encourage you all to take the time to reflect on how you have chased after things that are more about you than God. How can you better use your time and talents to serve Him versus serving yourself or the world? When we start to figure this out for ourselves, we begin to recognize contentment in knowing who we are in Christ, and in our God given purpose.

If you find yourself struggling to find contentment in your life and need help, please reach out to Rock Solid Families. Our desire for you is that you learn to align yourself with God's way and experience contentment that goes beyond human understanding.

www.rocksolidfamilies.org

Bring Out the Best in Your Spouse

Marriage was created by God and it is meant to be a blessing. Some days marriage can be harder than others, but scripture instructs us on how to be the best spouse we can be, even when it is difficult.

Merrill and Linda dive into the books of Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, James, and Matthew to teach us different ways we can bring out the best in our spouse, which ultimately brings out the best in your marriage. If you listen to episode # 284 of the Rock Solid Families Podcast, you may even get to hear them banter back and forth about their own marriage experiences as well. ;)

Here are 6 ways you can bring the best out in your spouse:

1.) Recognize you are on the same team and are equal players in this endeavor. Ephesians 5 tells us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. You are in this marriage together, on one team. Without love and respect, the team can’t collaborate effectively.

2.) 1 Corinthians 12 states just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. You must focus on your spouse's strengths. You have a choice on what you will focus on when it comes to your spouse, and If you choose to focus on their shortcomings and weaknesses, that is all you will see. Praise them for the good they do, for their strengths. After all, what is praised, is repeated!

3.) Effective communication - James 1:19 says everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak. Merrill and Linda recommend having a conversation with your spouse for at least 10-15 minutes a day. During that check-in you should validate that you are hearing your spouse by acknowledging what they say and do not give advice unless you are asked for it. Instead ask, “How can I help?” or “What do you need from me?” Once that check-in is over, you should be able to walk away with a sense of HOW your spouse is truly doing.

4.) Be your best! Instead of focusing on what your partner is or is not doing, focus on what you can do better to be the best version of yourself, not just for you, but also for your spouse. When focusing on being the best version of yourself, access yourself in the following 3 categories:

- Spiritual Growth - Are you practicing to be more Christ-like?
- Physical Growth - Are you taking care of your body? Are you healthy? Are you fit? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? Are you attractive to your spouse?
- Personal Growth - Are you stretching and challenging yourself in your desires and gifts? Practicing a hobby or taking a new class?

5.) Love them the way they want to be Loved, and learn what makes them feel respected and valuable. This is easier when you know your partner’s Love Language. Is it acts of service? Words of affirmation? Getting gifts? If you don’t know your partner’s love language, we highly encourage you to find out.

6.) Build your life and your relationships on something that is ROCK SOLID. Without a firm foundation that is solid or unshakable, you run the risk of things falling apart pretty quickly. You tend to look out for #1 and focus inward on yourself.  It’s like building your life on sinking sand. The first wave hits and suddenly things are washed away. What are the values you are building your marriage and family on? Is it a strong Christian faith? Even if you are not a person of faith or a church-goer, we still challenge you to give it a try. Start building your life and relationships on something solid like integrity, honesty, faithfulness, kindness, dependability, good work ethic, etc. It not only will bring out the best in your spouse, but yourself as well.

With Christ as the cornerstone of your relationships, you will have a common and firm foundation. Just like the wise builder in Matthew 7, with a foundation built on Christ, your house will not fall. As you grow in your relationship together, we encourage you to pray together and practice forgiveness and grace, just like God does with the Church.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH the Rock Solid Families Podcast episode on Bringing out the best in your spouse here.

Subscribe to our podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast to hear more episodes on faith, family and fitness.

Embracing Chaos: Finding Purpose in Disaster Relief - Featuring Darin Kroger

“Bringing Help and Hope to Those Who Are Hurting" is the first thing you will see when you visit the Masters of Disaster website. On this week’s Strong Dads podcast (Episode # 231), guest Darin Kroger talks about how he felt nudged by God to swap out comfort for chaos when he switched his career path from IT to operating his non-profit, Masters of Disaster, providing faith-based disaster relief and resources to communities impacted by severe weather -AKA acts of God!

In this episode, Darin shares with us what happened when he began to surrender his heart and talents to the nudging of the Holy Spirit.  Darin had what most of us would think of as a "good life" and by his own admission, it was a good life, but he continued to recognize an itch that wasn't being scratched. An itch for something more. Something that he really had no clue of what it looked like, other than it kept begging his attention.  This itch was in the arena of disaster relief.

Darin has always enjoyed following stormy and severe weather. The kind of weather that can change a person's life in a matter of seconds - tornados, floods, fires, and hurricanes. Most people watch this type of weather unfold from the comfort of their homes while watching the news. We sit back in our recliner and say a prayer for all the people who have been affected. Not to diminish the importance of prayer (because the Bible tells us that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective!) but GOD WANTS US TO DO MORE!  He wants our hearts to be filled with compassion to serve the needs of others and then our hands to carry it out. 

Darin, along with his volunteers, began to operate the Masters of Disaster organization several years ago. Now it is a full-time disaster relief resource for areas within a 4-hour radius of the Greater Cincinnati area.

Darin and his team desire to serve those who are in their greatest time of need by offering emotional & spiritual care, chain sawing, roof tarping, flood redemption, debris clean up, and rebuilding & repair services. Masters of Disaster survival resources and actions are first on the list, then comforts and even wants can begin to fill in the void. Not only do Darin and his team restore the essentials, but as a result, they restore hope in individuals and communities as well.

To listen to episode # 231 of the Strong Dads podcast, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81ghL7QnmG0

For more information about Masters of Disaster, contact them at https://mod-usa.org/contact-mod/.

To learn more about Rock Solid Families and Strong Dads, Visit http://rocksolidfamilies.org.

Life Giving Grit - Do You Have It?

For whatever reason, I have lately been very interested in learning and hearing more about what I’m calling “Life-Giving Grit.”  You’ve heard these stories before.  The person who suffers devastating blows only to never give up and finally prevail in the end.  The movie “Rocky” comes to mind.  I have also been reading a couple of different books about Holocaust survivors - Wow!  Some incredible stories of survival have come out of that tragedy.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Elie Wiesel, and Oskar Schindler are just some of the heart-moving stories that continue to live on. 

I also have more than a couple of friends and family who are in the long-haul battle for their lives against cancer or other illnesses.  I watch as they pull themselves from one treatment to the next with no guarantees that anything is actually going to work.  Nonetheless, they carry on.  Some of them have lived and continue to live with such grace and strength that inspires others.  This has challenged me to ask, “What would I do in these situations?”

To be clear, none of us want to invite tragedy or hardship into our lives just to see if we can pass the test.  But, as life would have it, many of us will be tested.  I wonder how I would stand up to the test.  I wonder how strong my faith and hope would truly be.  How about you?  How strong would you walk through the darkness?  

I have taken a little time to study and observe more about these enduring characters.  What is it about them that sets them apart, what traits do they have or what actions do they take to move on with such grace?  My list is not intended to be the final say on survival, but rather some suggestions and ideas that maybe all of us could benefit from whether in difficult times or not. 

Here are five different things I’ve noticed. See what you think. 

1.    The Eye of David - You’ve heard about the “tiger’s eye”.  I have thought about the story of David and Goliath and tried to imagine what David actually looked like when he stepped into the ring against Goliath.  Against all odds, and staring into the face of a giant, David must have had a certain “look” to him.  I think of that as the look of the tiger, the “tiger’s eye”. That look of absolute focus on the matter at hand, likely to be tunnel vision, where nothing else really matters at the moment.  That look is only fueled by eliminating all other possible outcomes other than a triumphant win.  David could not have looked at Goliath with fear and trembling.  He had to look at him with determination and faith that he would prevail. 

2.            “Pick Me” Mindset - They are the “all in” volunteers.  They invite opportunities to walk through hardship because they have faith that something better will come. 

3.            No Paralysis From Analysis - We have all been around people who are terrible about making decisions.  They overthink and second-guess every possible solution.  They use excuses such as, I’m still gathering information or I’m praying about it, way longer than is beneficial.  Instead, these people make a decision and then go with it.  It may not be the perfect answer, but they are willing to live with the responsibility and consequences of their decisions.  They are not afraid. 

4.            Problem Solvers, Not Statement Makers- They ask great questions that lead to powerful answers.  “What can I do about this?”  Many of us get stuck in stating the obvious. We make a statement about a given problem and then we leave it sit.  “I have cancer.”  That may be a true statement, but if left there, it is nearly worthless.  Problem Solvers say, 'I have cancer, what am I going to do about it?’  Asking a question of self-empowerment is the fuel to get things moving. Remember, this has nothing to do with whether or not your solution is going to work.  It simply means that you are not stuck and stranded without options.

5.            Action Figures - Finally, people of great survival stories are people that are movers and shakers.  They are action figures. They don’t sit back, they do!   I’m reminded of Todd Beamer, the man who tragically lost his life as a victim on United Airlines Flight 93. The plane was hijacked and ran directly into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Todd recognized that things did not look good for him and all the other passengers on that flight.  Rather than sit in his chair and cry, which would have made perfect sense, he corralled a group to storm the cockpit of the plane.  The possible outcomes were not good no matter what happened, but going down without a fight was not an option.  When they got their plan together, Todd Beamer was heard saying. “Let’s Roll”.  In other words, it is time to go to work.

As I mentioned earlier, none of us want to be tested in such life-or-death situations, but it is only through adversity that we truly learn who we are and what we stand for. My challenge is to know who I want to be prior to finding myself in the battle for my life. How about you?

Finishing Strong!

— Merrill Hutchinson

President of Rock Solid Families, a faith based marriage and family coaching organization in St. Leon, IN. For more information, contact 812-576-ROCK.

Being Canceled by Cancel Culture

There were no warnings given. No explanation offered. It was just another normal day at work a few weeks ago when Merrill opened his email to find he had been permanently deleted from Facebook. After several attempts to contact them, they refused to give him any chance to appeal their decision. After all, it’s a free platform and according to the terms and conditions you agreed to when you signed up, they don’t owe you any explanation. 

Mob Rule
Welcome to the world of cancel culture where you can be thrust out of social or professional circles at the click of a button. Maybe you’ve experienced it too? Whether it be online or in person, cancel culture is real but the attitude toward it is as vast as the world wide web. Cancel Culture is all about momentum, so the faster you build alliances with like-minded people, the more you feel protected by the mob. This momentum can be so powerful it can be like a tsunami wave crushing anything in its wake and taking you down a path you never imagined you would ever be on.

Greatest Target of Cancel Culture
The phrase "cancel culture" has been used to describe a wide range of behaviors, including intimidation, exclusion, and online shaming and bullying, but canceling people because of who they are or what they do is nothing new.  The most recognized person who ever walked the earth was a victim of cancel culture - Jesus Christ. He was falsely accused, publicly rejected, and ultimately put to death because he challenged many of the religious beliefs and practices of his day. He was a threat to the political and religious establishment of his time. Despite his physical death, Christians believe he was resurrected on the third day and his message of unconditional love and forgiveness continues to resonate in our world today.

Speaking the Truth in Love
Have you been publicly ridiculed for defending the name of Jesus or speaking God’s truth over a situation? As Christ followers, we are warned over and over again in God’s Word that we will face persecution just as Jesus did. We can only speculate since no warning or explanation was given, but maybe that’s why Merrill was permanently deleted from Facebook? At Rock Solid Families, regardless of what the cultural or political establishments say or do, we will continue to share truths from God’s Word in a way that honors God.

In Acts 4, Peter and John were called unschooled, ordinary men, but yet spoke with great boldness despite the opposition and threats they experienced. The bible calls all believers to “speak the truth in love”. (Ephesians 4:15).  We are told to “always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”. (1 Peter 3:15). 
Four Guiding Principles to Remember

So how should Christians respond to today’s cancel culture? There is no easy answer or one size fits all response, but below are four guiding principles God weaves all throughout his word.

1. We all sin and fall short of God’s glory.  We all make mistakes, and we all say and do things we regret. We should be willing to forgive others, just as God has forgiven us, but this doesn’t mean that we will always be able to ever trust that person again. God does command us to get rid of anger or bitterness. That’s for OUR benefit. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is essential for our own healing and growth. 

2. We are not the judge-God is. We do not know the full story of someone's life, and we cannot know their heart. We should be slow to condemn others, and quick to offer grace and compassion.

3. We are called to speak the truth in love. We should not be afraid to call out injustice and harmful behavior. However, we should do so in a way that is loving and respectful. Our goal should never be rejection or hate but instead love and redemption. 

4. We are called to love and forgive others the way Christ loved and forgave us. This is God’s greatest commandment and it’s the key to overcoming cancel culture. When we focus on loving others, we are less likely to be offended or angered by their words or actions. We are more likely to be understanding and forgiving.

So the next time you feel excluded, shamed, or bullied or see it going on around you, step back and take a deep breath. Don’t react or join in on the mob mentality out of pressure, anger, or fear. Think about a way to respond that would be loving, compassionate, and Christ-like. Help to create a culture of accountability and respect where we can have open and honest conversations about difficult topics even when we disagree. Shine the light of Christ into that darkness and help make a difference in our world today.

We want to thank all our Rock Solid Families partners and sponsors for believing in our mission of strong and healthy families. You are helping to shine the light of Christ into the darkness. We live in a broken world in need of a Savior, and we are committed to offer that HOPE and HEALING to anyone who will listen. For a list of all our Rock Solid Partners, click HERE. Because of you, we can fight for those who can’t fight for themselves and stand for truth even when we are criticized or canceled.

A Different Kind of Freedom

Have you had the chance to see the movie Sound of Freedom yet? Wow! The movie was such a difficult one to watch but such an important one to see about the horrific reality of human trafficking in our world today. I left the movie theatre feeling more convicted than ever that God’s children are not for sale, and we must do whatever we can to help eradicate such atrocities. So if you have a chance to see it in a theatre or stream it at home, please take the time to do so.

Chained by the Past?
Human trafficking is an unspeakable tragedy in our world today and should never be tolerated, but in this article we are talking about a different kind of freedom. With this kind of freedom, YOU hold the key! In our life coaching ministry, we work with so many clients held captive by the chains of their past mistakes or stuck in the pain caused by someone else. Some will say they literally feel imprisoned by the shame. Others come to us feeling haunted by childhood trauma and paralyzed by the fear.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom
There’s a song by Jesus Culture that describes it perfectly.  It’s called “Freedom”. The popular song incorporates a familiar passage of scripture into its lyrics- 2 Corinthians 3:17.  This verse says, now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  

The song, Freedom, starts with the lyrics, Step out of the shadows, step out of the grave. Break into the wild and don't be afraid. Run into wide open spaces, grace is waiting for you. Dance like the weight has been lifted, grace is waiting.Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. 

Hidden in the Dark
What’s holding you captive? Isaiah 61:1 tells us that the Lord has proclaimed freedom for the captives and released the prisoners from darkness. For some it’s their past. Maybe that’s you. Are there things in your past you have never dealt with or still feel ashamed of that keep you trapped?

Whatever you keep secret in the dark, Satan uses against you. He is the one that keeps you bound in chains. A couple months ago, we shared stories of hope and transformation on our Rock Solid Families Podcast, and we shared the story of “Shannon”. (Our client’s name has been changed to protect her privacy)

Shannon’s Story
Shannon came to Rock Solid Families last fall feeling stuck, broken, fearful, and ashamed. Those were her exact words. It took months before she finally felt safe enough to share the darkest part of her story.  She had stuffed the pain and shame of her childhood sexual trauma so deep; her husband was the only one she had ever told in over 40 years. Over the course of two years, Shannon had suffered sexual abuse from a family member when she was just 8 years old. It took her husband finally saying to her “it’s time”, before she ever shared about her childhood trauma in a coaching session.  It was obvious there was something holding her captive, but she was too fearful to share. 

No Longer a Slave to the Secret
Once the “secret” was out, Shannon began to unpack the trauma and heal those deep, infected wounds God’s way. Through God’s divine help, Shannon’s life looks radically different today because of God’s healing power and her courage to come out of the dark. She has finally found her voice and that fear and shame no longer hold her captive. Shannon is feeling hopeful again. She would say she is finally finding that freedom she had always heard about. 

Who Has a Hold Over You?
Maybe it's not trauma or past mistakes that hold you captive. Maybe it’s the words, actions, or attitude of a difficult person in your life that you have allowed to have control over you. Who do you allow to push your buttons? We can’t control others, but we CAN control our response. Our response is OUR responsibility. Don’t let someone else enslave you and hold you captive. Decide today…I will no longer allow that person to have a hold over me. I hold the key to set myself free! Find lasting freedom by setting healthy boundaries around that toxic relationship. Remember the words to the song Freedom we referenced earlier. Dance like the weight has been lifted… Bring all those burdens...bring all those scars. Grace is waiting for you. 

Experiencing a Different Kind of Freedom
Maybe it’s not the mistakes you’ve made or the toxic people around you, but the loss you’ve experienced. Maybe you have been held captive by grief for so long, you don’t even know what it means to experience joy and freedom again. What it means to laugh and smile again. Maybe you have been weighed down by the heaviness of loss...whether it be the death of a loved one or the death of a marriage. Maybe it is the loss of a career or livelihood due to an illness or accident. Maybe the grief has been so intense, you almost feel dead inside.

That same song says, step out of the grave. Break into the wild and don’t be afraid. Run into wide open spaces, grace is waiting for you.  Don’t know how to break free from those chains? Seek professional help. Reach out to us at Rock Solid Families. You don’t have to live as a captive any longer. But remember, what we said from the beginning; this is a different kind of freedom. Freedom is possible, because you my friend hold the key!

A Father’s Love

Let’s give a warm welcome to one of my favorite months of the year, June! And man is it coming in hot! It’s hard to believe sweet summer time is already here. For me, summer has always been associated with rest and relaxation, specifically by the pool, soaking up the sunrays. I live for the long, sunny pool days, accompanied with delicious grill outs, competitive games of cornhole, bonfires, stargazing, and time with family and friends.

Sharing My Birthday
The month of June is also extra special to me, because it’s my birthday month. I am blessed to have countless fun memories of celebrating my birthday with my family and friends over the years, and there are milestone birthdays I will never forget. I was born on the first day of summer and Father’s Day. Whenever my birthday falls on a Sunday, it’s joined with Father’s Day. As a child, I didn’t really appreciate this all so much; However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown to realize that being born on Father’s Day and sharing my day with my father is truly a special gift. 

Learning From My Mom and Dad
Working in mental health over the last 6 years, I’ve learned a lot about the importance of relationships. It’s our relationships and the experiences we have within our relationships that have the biggest impact on our beliefs about ourselves and our beliefs about others. It’s in our relationships where we learn whether the world is safe or dangerous. And the most critical relationships in forming these beliefs are those with our caregivers: our mother and father.

If our mother and father are present and attend to our basic needs with love and care during our early stages of development, we are more likely to believe that we are safe and we can trust others. If our mother and/or father are not present and don't attend to our basic needs, we can easily form the belief that we are not safe or secure, others can’t be trusted, and we need to react accordingly to survive. Ultimately, our relationship with our mother and father sets the stage for how we engage with the world around us.  

Lies About Our Heavenly Father
In 2020, I was in a small group at church, and I remember one specific session when we discussed our perceptions and beliefs about our heavenly Father. We were given a handout with all of these lies one may believe about God, and we were to identify the lies that we personally believed. I remember looking through the list and thinking, “I’ve never thought any of these things about God”. As others began sharing with the group the lies they identified with, I remember feeling so confused and surprised that others had multiple lies they had been believing about their heavenly Father, and I just couldn’t relate. Later on, the leader went on to explain how we tend to perceive our heavenly Father similarly to how we perceive our earthly father. Then it all started to make sense.

Never Questioning His Love
Overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude, I realized the positive view of my heavenly Father was influenced by the positive relationship with my earthly father. My father has always been there for me when I’ve needed him. He’s the prime example of provider and protector. He would do whatever it takes to care for his family without expecting anything in return. My father taught me forgiveness, gentleness, and the power of feeling and showing the uncomfortable emotions this world teaches us to hide.

Of course my dad is human not perfect, and just like all relationships, he and I have definitely had our moments of conflict (especially in my hormonal teenage years). But it’s evident how the qualities of my earthly father have influenced my beliefs of my heavenly Father, and to say I’m grateful is an understatement. I’ve never questioned my dad’s love for me, and I can say the same about God.

When the Walls Go Up
Unfortunately, there are many individuals who have not had a healthy relationship with their father and many that haven’t had a relationship with their father at all. We can let our defensive walls come up to protect our broken heart and lie to ourselves and say this doesn’t affect us, but it does. It’s easier to say it doesn’t bother us, than to accept the reality that the one who gave us life, hurt us.

We live in a broken world and we have all been hurt in relationships at some point, with far too many of us having been hurt by our caregivers. These emotional wounds change how we view ourselves, others, and ultimately how we view God. The truth that we struggle to realize and believe is that our heavenly Father is the only one that won’t hurt us and the only one who can truly satisfy our deepest needs and desires. 

What’s In our Way?
If we want to have a deep relationship with our heavenly Father, we need to identify what’s getting in our way. Are you holding onto false beliefs about yourself or about others, that you are projecting onto God? Have you been hurt, betrayed, or rejected by a significant relationship that was supposed to be safe, loving, and secure? If trust has been broken in your earthly relationships, it makes sense as to why you may struggle to trust God. We all have emotional wounds that need to be attended to, and the good news is there’s a heavenly Father longing to comfort and heal us with His loving presence. 

Healing Those Wounds
This year, Father’s day is on June 18th. For some, this will be a joyful day, for others it will be painful. And for some, it will be a mixture of all kinds of emotions. My prayer is that you invite Jesus into whatever emotion you’re feeling when thinking of this day. I pray the Lord reveals any emotional wound that may be getting in the way of you having a deep, intimate relationship with Him, and that He would heal that wound with His love. And despite what your relationship is/was like with your earthly father, I pray that on this Father’s Day, you know and encounter your heavenly Father and His love for you in a new and powerful way. He loves you so much, and there’s nothing that you’ve done or could do to change His love for you. 

Meet our New Coach-Meredith Scudder

Over the past five years, Rock Solid Families has had the privilege of working with thousands of individuals, couples, and families. The phone continues to ring daily with folks desperate for HELP and hungry for HOPE. That is why Rock Solid Families is excited to announce a new addition to the team.

On June 1, 2023, Meredith Scudder will join the Rock Solid team as our new Assistant Director and Coach. As a licensed therapist, Meredith brings amazing training, tools and techniques to Rock Solid Families. She’s passionate for the Lord and wants to help her clients reach their goals and their identity and purpose in Christ. Meredith is currently scheduling clients and will be primarily working with teenage girls, young adult women, and single moms out of our St. Leon, IN office or via Zoom. To schedule an appointment with Meredith or any of our Rock Solid Families coaches, click HERE.

Where Meredith’s Passion Began
Meredith grew up in Bright, Indiana and graduated from East Central High School in 2011. She went on to earn her Bachelor’s in Psychology from Indiana University East. While working on her undergraduate degree, Meredith was working as a substitute teacher at Bright Elementary which is where her passion to help the youth began. Upon graduating college, Meredith started working full-time at Bright Elementary in the Special Education Department, helping students struggling academically, emotionally, and behaviorally. As a psychology major, she had always had an interest in understanding the human mind and why we do the things we do. Witnessing students continuing to struggle in the classroom, Meredith’s passion to understand “why” started to grow. 

“We were doing our best to help, but it seemed we were only managing the symptoms, when ultimately there was a deeper rooted piece that needed to be addressed”

— Meredith

She writes, “Despite implementing appropriate interventions and some students taking prescribed medications, many continued to struggle daily. We were doing our best to help, but it seemed we were only managing the symptoms, when ultimately there was a deeper rooted piece that needed to be addressed.” This inspired Meredith to learn more about the brain, how they are wired, and how this impacts our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When she learned that our brains have the ability to be rewired, she desired to learn how.

Dealing with Her Own Anxiety
Hungry to learn more, Meredith pursued her Master in Social Work at IUPUI. Two years of grad school came with a lot of knowledge and growth, not only academically, but personally and spiritually as well. “When you’re studying mental health, you don’t realize how much of your own stuff is going to come up. The things I had struggled with most of my life really started to rise to the surface. I had always struggled with anxiety and it was such a normal state of living for me, I didn’t realize how bad it was until I was living outside my comfort zone: new city, new school, new friends, new challenges and stressors. I was raised a Christian, attended Bright Christian Church growing up, and can recall many memories of praying to God to help me through the things I didn’t talk about. When my anxiety spiked in grad school, I turned to the one I had always turned to, God. It was in Indianapolis when my faith really started to grow, along with my relationship with Jesus.” After lots of late nights studying, lots of coffee, and lots of prayers, Meredith graduated with her MSW in May of 2019. 

Looking Through a Trauma Lens
While in grad school, Meredith focused on her interest in brain-based therapies and received training in Brainspotting, a therapy that helps access and release unprocessed trauma in the brain and body. Meredith also learned a lot about trauma, which would become a major influence in her therapeutic work. Upon graduating, Meredith worked full-time as a School Social Worker for K-7th graders, while also working part-time as a faith-based outpatient psychotherapist. Most of the students Meredith worked with in Indianapolis Public Schools and in private practice had experienced a lot of trauma. 

“Their nervous systems were constantly in survival mode, and unfortunately this would present itself as acting out or misbehaving in the classroom, which typically led to punitive consequences. I also recognized how impactful the students’ home life was on their mental health, and there was only so much I could do for a child without being able to help the family as a whole.” Although Meredith had the passion to provide mental health services in the schools, she struggled with not having the time and opportunity to do the deeper therapeutic work that was needed for the children and their families. 

“I thought God was sending me to Wisconsin to fulfill my dream job and advance my career; turns out He sent me there to renew my mind and transform my heart. ”

— Meredith

Chasing Her Dream Job
Following her passion to help individuals and families heal the root of their distress, Meredith moved to the middle of nowhere Wisconsin to be a Wilderness Therapist. As a nature-loving, trauma focused therapist, this was a dream job Meredith had been wanting for several years. During her time working in Wilderness Therapy, she continued to expand her knowledge on trauma, learned a lot about attachment, and the importance of healthy, safe relationships in order to help others regulate and heal. Similar to her personal experience when living in Indianapolis, Meredith learned a lot about herself, and her faith and relationship with Christ grew. “I thought God was sending me to Wisconsin to fulfill my dream job and advance my career; turns out He sent me there to renew my mind and transform my heart. The Lord took me through my own wilderness journey and showed me what healing looks like through Him. He helped me turn away from the things of this world that I was depending on for temporary happiness, comfort, and security, and instead helped me find true joy, peace, and identity in Him.” 

Jesus, the Ultimate Healer
Meredith loved her job as a Wilderness Therapist, and the healing and growth she witnessed in her students and families was so rewarding. As her knowledge in mental health increased, along with her personal experience with Jesus, Meredith couldn’t help but see mental health through a biblical, spiritual lens. “It is so hard to work with students suffering from deep relational wounds and trauma, and not be able to speak God’s truth into the process. I had a strong desire to help individuals and families heal, but with our ultimate healer, Jesus.” One of her favorite passages of scriptures that spoke to Meredith the most during this wilderness season was Ephesians 3:16-19.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

““I quit my job and moved back home without knowing what was next, but I trusted God was leading me and would work it out. ”

— Meredith

Going Back to Her Roots
After lots of prayer, Meredith felt God calling her back home to Bright, Indiana to pursue this desire. “I quit my job and moved back home without knowing what was next, but I trusted God was leading me and would work it out. Four months later, His plans are starting to come together and make sense. A  key word for me over the years has been “roots”: Getting to the root of problems, being rooted in His love, and healing my deep rooted wounds. And now the Lord has called me back to my geographical roots to pursue the desires of my heart.  I couldn’t be more excited to be a part of Rock Solid Families and help individuals and families heal and grow, with Christ as the firm foundation. I can’t help but share the good news and share what the Lord has done in me and for me. I’m blessed to be in a position where I can help and hold space for others, to receive His healing love for themselves.”

If you or someone you know is looking for HOPE and HEALING through a faith based coaching approach, give Rock Solid Families a call at 812-576-ROCK (7625) or go to rocksolidfamilies.org

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:6-7  NIV