A Different Kind of Freedom

Have you had the chance to see the movie Sound of Freedom yet? Wow! The movie was such a difficult one to watch but such an important one to see about the horrific reality of human trafficking in our world today. I left the movie theatre feeling more convicted than ever that God’s children are not for sale, and we must do whatever we can to help eradicate such atrocities. So if you have a chance to see it in a theatre or stream it at home, please take the time to do so.

Chained by the Past?
Human trafficking is an unspeakable tragedy in our world today and should never be tolerated, but in this article we are talking about a different kind of freedom. With this kind of freedom, YOU hold the key! In our life coaching ministry, we work with so many clients held captive by the chains of their past mistakes or stuck in the pain caused by someone else. Some will say they literally feel imprisoned by the shame. Others come to us feeling haunted by childhood trauma and paralyzed by the fear.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom
There’s a song by Jesus Culture that describes it perfectly.  It’s called “Freedom”. The popular song incorporates a familiar passage of scripture into its lyrics- 2 Corinthians 3:17.  This verse says, now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  

The song, Freedom, starts with the lyrics, Step out of the shadows, step out of the grave. Break into the wild and don't be afraid. Run into wide open spaces, grace is waiting for you. Dance like the weight has been lifted, grace is waiting.Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. 

Hidden in the Dark
What’s holding you captive? Isaiah 61:1 tells us that the Lord has proclaimed freedom for the captives and released the prisoners from darkness. For some it’s their past. Maybe that’s you. Are there things in your past you have never dealt with or still feel ashamed of that keep you trapped?

Whatever you keep secret in the dark, Satan uses against you. He is the one that keeps you bound in chains. A couple months ago, we shared stories of hope and transformation on our Rock Solid Families Podcast, and we shared the story of “Shannon”. (Our client’s name has been changed to protect her privacy)

Shannon’s Story
Shannon came to Rock Solid Families last fall feeling stuck, broken, fearful, and ashamed. Those were her exact words. It took months before she finally felt safe enough to share the darkest part of her story.  She had stuffed the pain and shame of her childhood sexual trauma so deep; her husband was the only one she had ever told in over 40 years. Over the course of two years, Shannon had suffered sexual abuse from a family member when she was just 8 years old. It took her husband finally saying to her “it’s time”, before she ever shared about her childhood trauma in a coaching session.  It was obvious there was something holding her captive, but she was too fearful to share. 

No Longer a Slave to the Secret
Once the “secret” was out, Shannon began to unpack the trauma and heal those deep, infected wounds God’s way. Through God’s divine help, Shannon’s life looks radically different today because of God’s healing power and her courage to come out of the dark. She has finally found her voice and that fear and shame no longer hold her captive. Shannon is feeling hopeful again. She would say she is finally finding that freedom she had always heard about. 

Who Has a Hold Over You?
Maybe it's not trauma or past mistakes that hold you captive. Maybe it’s the words, actions, or attitude of a difficult person in your life that you have allowed to have control over you. Who do you allow to push your buttons? We can’t control others, but we CAN control our response. Our response is OUR responsibility. Don’t let someone else enslave you and hold you captive. Decide today…I will no longer allow that person to have a hold over me. I hold the key to set myself free! Find lasting freedom by setting healthy boundaries around that toxic relationship. Remember the words to the song Freedom we referenced earlier. Dance like the weight has been lifted… Bring all those burdens...bring all those scars. Grace is waiting for you. 

Experiencing a Different Kind of Freedom
Maybe it’s not the mistakes you’ve made or the toxic people around you, but the loss you’ve experienced. Maybe you have been held captive by grief for so long, you don’t even know what it means to experience joy and freedom again. What it means to laugh and smile again. Maybe you have been weighed down by the heaviness of loss...whether it be the death of a loved one or the death of a marriage. Maybe it is the loss of a career or livelihood due to an illness or accident. Maybe the grief has been so intense, you almost feel dead inside.

That same song says, step out of the grave. Break into the wild and don’t be afraid. Run into wide open spaces, grace is waiting for you.  Don’t know how to break free from those chains? Seek professional help. Reach out to us at Rock Solid Families. You don’t have to live as a captive any longer. But remember, what we said from the beginning; this is a different kind of freedom. Freedom is possible, because you my friend hold the key!

Living His Best Life

Have you ever had one of those people in your life that makes you feel like the most important person in the room? That was Frank Pierce. Frank was a 2016 graduate of LaSalle High School who graduated top five in his class. He went on to the University of Cincinnati on a full ride academic scholarship but also competed as a Division 1 collegiate athlete.  Frank studied Mechanical Engineering and was able to complete his Bachelors and Master Degrees in less than 5 years. Frank was a hard working, determined young man.  After graduation, he landed his dream job and bought his first fixer upper home. Even in his own words, Frank would tell you, “Life was good”.  Despite all of those personal accomplishments, however, Frank Pierce would still make you feel like the most important person in the room. 

Life on Mission
Friends and family would say Frank lived his life on mission being intentional about connecting with others and taking the time to genuinely get to know you. He would regularly open up his new home to bible studies, mentoring, or just hanging out with friends. Frank was soft spoken, humble, and genuine but yet still confident, steadfast, and determined. Frank was a young man of deep faith who went to mass and prayed his rosary daily. Everyone who met Frank Pierce loved him, and they knew he loved them back. He wasn’t afraid to say it or show it.  

A Day Many Will Not Soon Forget
Which is why September 1, 2020 is a day so many will not soon forget. No one prepares you for a sheriff coming to your door to tell you your oldest son has tragically died in a car accident at the age of 22. No one is ready for that punch in the gut. No one prepares you for that diagnosis or phone call, but it still happens. Loved ones are left behind trying to navigate the sadness, denial, anger, and maybe even unforgiveness that comes with grief. Maybe that’s you this holiday season missing a loved one around the table. Maybe you are dreading the holidays as you hang those ornaments on the tree. That’s where we found Frank’s parents, Peggy and Tom Pierce, when they walked into our office back in the summer of 2022

Drifting Apart in Their Grief
As the two year anniversary approached of their oldest son’s death, Peggy and Tom Pierce found themselves drifting apart as they grieved in their own but very different way. Peggy wanted to talk about and celebrate Frankie’s life with those who knew and loved him. She wanted a partner to walk alongside her on the tough days. Tom, on the other hand, didn’t know what to do with his grief. He spent many days just mad at the world taking it out on the people he loved the most. He didn’t know what else to do with the pain, so he unknowingly shut down or lashed out at those closest to him.

Helping Each Other Grieve
When Peggy and Tom came to Rock Solid Families, they began to work through their grief together for the very first time. Yes, there were lots of tears but also laughter as they shared story after story about this amazing young man. They have spent hours working through the pain and discovering how they can help each other grieve in a healthy and loving way. Along with the stories, they have shared things others wrote about Frankie after he passed and words Frankie wrote himself.  

Why So Young?
As I poured through all the things Frank wrote and others wrote about Frank, I was blown away by the deep, abiding faith this young man had. I could see how much Frank loved God as well as his family and friends and how much others loved Frank. And then there are all those unanswered questions his friends and family still have. “Why Lord?” “Why Frank?” “Why so young?” He was only 22. But then I found something. Something I think Frank would want us all to know about his life AND his death. It was tucked away in a talk he gave to young men and women at a retreat just a year before he passed. 

A Message of HOPE
So as this holiday approaches, give these words a chance to sink in. Let this message of HOPE be a healing salve on any festering wounds or unhealed brokenness in your life. Let the good news of Christ be the key that unlocks those chains of grief or unforgiveness. Frank knew that it didn’t matter how many times he went to mass or how often he prayed his rosary. In his short 22 yrs, Frank discovered a truth that many will go their entire life and never learn. It was at the core of who he was and why I believe God put him on this earth in the first place. It’s a message I think he would want everyone reading this to receive and hold close in their heart. And it’s this…

God’s Free Gift
God’s grace is a free gift- for you and for me. God sent his one and only son, Jesus, to die for our sins.  Our sin debt is a debt we can never repay on our own, and no matter how successful or talented Frank was, he would never deserve it or earn it. That’s why it’s called a gift. Paul writes in Ephesians 2:8-9,  “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast.”

As one college friend wrote about Frank after he passed away, “The way that he lived and encountered others was born out of the free gift of God’s grace; a grace that Frank sought after relentlessly and pursued with such

trust, diligence and discipline.” That’s who Frank Pierce was. 

Living His Best Life
God calls us all to so much more than just what we DO’; it’s about who we belong to. In his short but rich life, Frank finally came to that important truth for himself. Frank knew he couldn’t fix himself by himself. We are all broken people in need of a Savior.  Freedom and peace come only through God, His Son Jesus, and his amazing gift of grace. That’s where Frank’s identity and purpose came from and where ours could come from too; no matter how many years we have left on this earth.  That’s how Frank Pierce found freedom in Christ. He allowed the Holy Spirit to come alive in his heart and mind. He surrendered his way for God’s way and experienced a peace that passes all understanding. It’s why Frank is now experiencing eternal life and freedom in heaven.  Frank Pierce is living his best life for ever with his Heavenly Father, and he can’t wait for you and I to get there.

Finding Hope in the Grief

I’m not even sure how she was able to walk in my office the first night we met. When I asked her weeks later to describe the weight of her despair, she gave it a 10+ out of 10. Debby felt buried by the pain. What in the world could make someone feel so overwhelmed by grief? In this week’s episode of Rock Solid Radio, Finding Hope in the Grief, Debby shares the Readers Digest version of her story and how she found hope in the midst of her grief. During our interview with Debby, it was tough to fight back the tears, but let me say this.  In my 30 plus years of working with individuals, couples, and families, I have personally never worked with someone who has experienced such grief and tragic loss.

Life or Death
As we talked about with Debby on this week’s podcast, being buried and being planted feel the same way. One symbolizes death and the other, the beginning of new life. That new life comes when we lay our pain at the Lord’s feet and allow HIM to carry the weight of it all. The apostle Paul reminds us of this.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 1 Thess 4: 13-14

Running on Empty
We’re reminded in God’s Word NOT to grieve like those who have no HOPE. Our hope is not in our own understanding or our own strength. On her own, Debby was running on empty when it came to either one.  On May 30, 2021, however, Debby experienced the death and burial of her old life and the beginning of a new life in Christ through the waters of baptism. It didn’t immediately take the pain away nor erase the memories of the past, but it did help Debby find HOPE in the middle of the storm, in the midst of her pain. 

Let Go and Let God
Whatever we focus on gets bigger in our lives. Debby chose to live out the psalmist when he wrote…

But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign Lord; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death. Psalm 141:8.

Debby’s motto in life is now “Let Go and Let God”. She has found hope in the midst of her grief. She now knows that God did not cause her pain, but he doesn’t want to waste it either. Every tear, every sleepless night, every heartache-God wants to redeem. How about you? Are you being buried or planted?  Will you let God bring beauty out of ashes and hope even in the midst of your pain?

Click HERE to LISTEN to Episode 144 of Rock Solid Radio, Finding Hope in the Grief

Click HERE to WATCH Episode 144 of Rock Solid Radio, Finding Hope in the Grief.

Running Free-Chase's Story

Two year old, Chase Brayton, got his name honestly. Anyone who knew Chase would say-he never stopped. He loved swimming in his backyard pool and running around the house naked as a jay bird. Chase loved having mommy, daddy, grandma, big sissy, Kenzie...anyone chase after him trying to put his clothes back on. He kept everyone hopping and laughing, which is why the house seems so eerily quiet these days.

It's been over a month now since Luke and Lauren tragically lost their 2 yr old son to a drowning accident in their backyard pool. Our hearts and prayers go out to the Brayton family in the loss of little Chase. There's no way anyone could prepare you for that gut wrenching experience especially as a parent. As Luke, Lauren, and big sissy, Kenzie began to grieve the death of Chase, they knew one thing for sure...they couldn't carry this burden alone.

Which is why two days after the accident, Luke and Lauren reached out to Rock Solid Families. They knew they couldn't weather this devastating storm on their own, and God has been with them every step of the way. Even during our very first meeting together, God was letting this young couple know-you are not alone. As we sat inside our St. Leon office talking about their incredible loss and God's eternal promises, a summer rain rolled in. As we finished up our session together and Luke and Lauren drove away that night, the rain had stopped and a beautiful double rainbow had appeared. It was as if God was reminding them right there in the midst of their pain, I am with you! In the past month, they have been overwhelmed by the love and support of family, friends, and total strangers. They have started attending church regularly together for the first time and finding love and encouragement from the Lord and His people.

What happened to Chase Brayton on July 2, 2020 is tragic and heartbreaking, but what God has done since has been nothing short of healing and redemptive for the Brayton family. That's the way God works when we put our trust in Him. Will there still be more tough days and months ahead? Absolutely, but Luke and Lauren are beginning to trust in God’s promises. He promises to bring beauty from ashes. He promises to bind up the brokenhearted. Listen to the way Isaiah writes it in Isaiah 61: 1-4:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and
release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Luke and Lauren continue to mourn the loss of their precious little one, but they do not grieve like those who have no hope. They trust in God's promise that they will see Chase again...probably running free waiting for someone to chase him.