Finding Hope in the Grief

I’m not even sure how she was able to walk in my office the first night we met. When I asked her weeks later to describe the weight of her despair, she gave it a 10+ out of 10. Debby felt buried by the pain. What in the world could make someone feel so overwhelmed by grief? In this week’s episode of Rock Solid Radio, Finding Hope in the Grief, Debby shares the Readers Digest version of her story and how she found hope in the midst of her grief. During our interview with Debby, it was tough to fight back the tears, but let me say this.  In my 30 plus years of working with individuals, couples, and families, I have personally never worked with someone who has experienced such grief and tragic loss.

Life or Death
As we talked about with Debby on this week’s podcast, being buried and being planted feel the same way. One symbolizes death and the other, the beginning of new life. That new life comes when we lay our pain at the Lord’s feet and allow HIM to carry the weight of it all. The apostle Paul reminds us of this.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 1 Thess 4: 13-14

Running on Empty
We’re reminded in God’s Word NOT to grieve like those who have no HOPE. Our hope is not in our own understanding or our own strength. On her own, Debby was running on empty when it came to either one.  On May 30, 2021, however, Debby experienced the death and burial of her old life and the beginning of a new life in Christ through the waters of baptism. It didn’t immediately take the pain away nor erase the memories of the past, but it did help Debby find HOPE in the middle of the storm, in the midst of her pain. 

Let Go and Let God
Whatever we focus on gets bigger in our lives. Debby chose to live out the psalmist when he wrote…

But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign Lord; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death. Psalm 141:8.

Debby’s motto in life is now “Let Go and Let God”. She has found hope in the midst of her grief. She now knows that God did not cause her pain, but he doesn’t want to waste it either. Every tear, every sleepless night, every heartache-God wants to redeem. How about you? Are you being buried or planted?  Will you let God bring beauty out of ashes and hope even in the midst of your pain?

Click HERE to LISTEN to Episode 144 of Rock Solid Radio, Finding Hope in the Grief

Click HERE to WATCH Episode 144 of Rock Solid Radio, Finding Hope in the Grief.

Running Free-Chase's Story

Two year old, Chase Brayton, got his name honestly. Anyone who knew Chase would say-he never stopped. He loved swimming in his backyard pool and running around the house naked as a jay bird. Chase loved having mommy, daddy, grandma, big sissy, Kenzie...anyone chase after him trying to put his clothes back on. He kept everyone hopping and laughing, which is why the house seems so eerily quiet these days.

It's been over a month now since Luke and Lauren tragically lost their 2 yr old son to a drowning accident in their backyard pool. Our hearts and prayers go out to the Brayton family in the loss of little Chase. There's no way anyone could prepare you for that gut wrenching experience especially as a parent. As Luke, Lauren, and big sissy, Kenzie began to grieve the death of Chase, they knew one thing for sure...they couldn't carry this burden alone.

Which is why two days after the accident, Luke and Lauren reached out to Rock Solid Families. They knew they couldn't weather this devastating storm on their own, and God has been with them every step of the way. Even during our very first meeting together, God was letting this young couple know-you are not alone. As we sat inside our St. Leon office talking about their incredible loss and God's eternal promises, a summer rain rolled in. As we finished up our session together and Luke and Lauren drove away that night, the rain had stopped and a beautiful double rainbow had appeared. It was as if God was reminding them right there in the midst of their pain, I am with you! In the past month, they have been overwhelmed by the love and support of family, friends, and total strangers. They have started attending church regularly together for the first time and finding love and encouragement from the Lord and His people.

What happened to Chase Brayton on July 2, 2020 is tragic and heartbreaking, but what God has done since has been nothing short of healing and redemptive for the Brayton family. That's the way God works when we put our trust in Him. Will there still be more tough days and months ahead? Absolutely, but Luke and Lauren are beginning to trust in God’s promises. He promises to bring beauty from ashes. He promises to bind up the brokenhearted. Listen to the way Isaiah writes it in Isaiah 61: 1-4:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and
release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Luke and Lauren continue to mourn the loss of their precious little one, but they do not grieve like those who have no hope. They trust in God's promise that they will see Chase again...probably running free waiting for someone to chase him.