Taming the Tantrum

It doesn’t seem to matter if they are 3, 13, or 23; kids know how to push their parents’ buttons. Don’t they? In my 30 plus years of being a parent, I have never felt like I was going to lose my mind or my hair more than in a parenting situation with one or more of my five children. I remember more than once backing out of my driveway with children in the backseat and slamming on the brakes so firmly trying to grab their attention and jerk a knot in their chain. Yes, that’s right! We hadn’t even gotten out of the driveway yet. I thought for sure I would need brake pads a lot sooner than normal because of it.

Tantrums-Natural Part of Development
This week on Rock Solid Radio, we add some more tools to our Rock Solid Tool Box as we unpack TANTRUMS in our kids. As we described on this week’s Rock Solid Radio podcast, tantrums are a natural part of a child’s development as they test and then develop their emotional regulation. They are learning how to express and manage their feelings, and that’s where we as parents come in. As parents, our job is to help our children navigate their feelings in a healthy, age-appropriate way, so they learn to self regulate and manage their emotions as they grow older.

If Not Handled Now, Then When?
A huge problem in our homes today is that more and more parents are not handling the tantrum when the child is young. For whatever reason, the child has grown up with the notion that a tantrum gets them what they want. So why not throw a fit if eventually you can wear down mom or dad and get your way? Some parents have given in to the tantrum because they feel overwhelmed themselves with the stresses of life and can not handle one more battle. For other parents, emotional self regulation wasn’t something they saw growing up, and they themselves struggle with keeping their emotions under control. So that’s what their kids have seen modeled in the home and imitate themselves.

Stuck In The “Terrible Twos”
As a result, we are seeing a generation of teen and young adult children who are not emotionally prepared for the real world. They are stuck in the “terrible twos” where they want their way and will throw a fit until they get it whether it be at home, in school, on the field, in a mall, or for some, even at a job! As we discussed in this week’s show, what may be a normal and natural reaction for a 3 yr old is not so normal and healthy for a 16 yr old.

When It Gets Out Of Control
Every week at Rock Solid Families, we have parents coming in with difficult stories of their teen and adult children throwing tantrums. Parents are dealing with older children and even adults throwing child-like “tantrums” that include yelling, cussing, slapping, punching, throwing things, and even more serious threats to self or others. If you are a parent and this is your current situation, please don’t keep kicking the can down the road. Now is the time to get some help.

Learn Tools For The Tantrum Now
Ignoring the problem or brushing it under the rug isn’t going to make it go away. As a matter of fact, giving in to a tantrum sends the message that your son or daughter’s immature response is ok, and it will get them what they want. If you are a parent of a toddler or smaller child, take the time to listen to this week’s episode of Rock Solid Radio. Learn the tools today to help your child grow and develop in an emotionally healthy way. Our society desperately needs more strong and healthy parents willing to deal with the tantrum TODAY, so that we don’t create more problems for our world tomorrow. Check out Rock Solid Radio Episode 146 Temper Tantrums to learn some practical tools to do just that.

Click HERE to watch the Rock Solid Radio episode 146 Tool Box Series-Temper Tantrums

Click HERE to listen to the Rock Solid Radio episode 146 Tool Box Series-Temper Tantrums

Making Memories

It was only seven miles down the road but to our youngest, it was the “coolest place ever”. Recently, our family was invited to a friends house for a day of swimming, eating, and fireworks. It was such a fun day filled with lots of memory making moments. Little kids and big “kids” alike spent the day playing volleyball, cornhole, and swimming in our friend’s pond. Some brave souls including our 13 yr old were even jumping off a high diving platform doing dives and flips into the water. Then there were a few crazy kids like our son who dared to climb up on the “BLOB” and wait for someone to catapult him high up in the air and into the pond below. They even had homemade ice cream you could help churn (and then eat of course) before settling down to a great fireworks show. It was such a fun day with lots of new experiences and memories made.

Reflecting Back
When we reflect back on our childhood, often times, some of the best memories we have come from holidays and vacations spent with family and friends. The value and importance of those fun times and special memories can not be denied.  It’s easier living out the day to day grind when we can reflect back and remember those special times of the past.  We strive to recreate that good feeling again and again by dreaming about and planning for future trips and get togethers. 

A Book Full of Memories
Take vacations for example. The experiences, adventures, sights, and even mishaps can turn an average week into an incredible book of memories. Traveling to different places and getting out of the normal routine help these experiences become more deeply entrenched memories.   These memories are like having game film to go back to and review over and over again. (And if you’re anything like my wife, it usually involves lots and lots of pictures just in case she forgets.)  These new and different experiences help us cling to what is good and inspire us to create more positive memories for the future.  We start to see these special times as valuable and crave them even more. As parents, we can often get wrapped up in the busyness of life and lose sight of the value of new experiences and spending time together.  Vacations, family celebrations, and summer fun give us opportunities to create new memories that give us hope for the future.

Not on the Itinerary
If we’re being totally honest, however, many of our best memories have come from things NOT on the itinerary. They were things that we didn’t intentionally plan for or think about. You know things like getting caught in a rain shower while hiking on a trail.  A sudden rainstorm wasn’t in the plan, but the memory of that day is definitely etched in our minds as we all jumped and splashed in the mud puddles like little kids. Or how about going camping and waking up to a family of raccoons eating our morning breakfast.  Our little visitors were NOT on the agenda that weekend, but it definitely made that year’s camping trip quite a memorable one. I’ll never forget the constant belly laughs coming from our children as they got knocked over by the ocean waves over and over again. It’s like they couldn’t get enough.

Plant the Seeds
We can’t always plan when they’ll happen, but we can plant the seeds. You know, provide opportunities for memories to be made. When was the last time you took a break from the routine? When was the last time you lived in the moment with family and friends and enjoyed what God has blessed you with?  This is where the fun and memories are made.   

Time to Rethink
If you have brushed off the importance of taking a vacation or doing something different with your family, maybe it’s time to rethink it.  You and your children will never have a shortage of difficult times in life.  One of the best ways we can drive through challenging times is to be able to reflect on the good memories of the past.  Don’t let another season go by without adding a little more JOY to your family. Go out and make some memories!

A New Man With a New Plan

In March of 2021, I received a phone call from a young man who was a couple years into his marriage.  He claimed he wanted help becoming a better man and husband.  My initial thought was that the marriage was in trouble, and he was desperately seeking to save it. We set up our first appointment and we began to talk.  I asked him to describe his marriage and its overall health.  He said without hesitation, “Oh, my marriage is great!”. I responded with a little bewilderment in my voice saying, “Well then, what can I help you with?”   He said, “I need help learning how to stand up for my wife and myself”. 

Intimidated by Dad
Meet Zach and Emily, a young couple in love who truly enjoy being together and dreaming about the future.  But, as I began to work with Zach, I recognized how timid he was.  As we talked, he would sink in his chair; when he didn’t know what to say, he would just go silent.  He did give me a clue to the problem when he started talking about his authoritarian father and how no one wanted to challenge his authority.  When challenged, his dad would quickly escalate his voice to a roar and begin intimidating everyone in the house.  As a boy, Zach was intimidated by his father and would never even dream of challenging or disagreeing with him.

Out of the Line of Fire
As Zach got older, he began to disagree with how his father acted and reacted in the house, but the disagreement remained in his head.  Partly out of respect and partly out of fear, he would cower down to his dad and never challenge him on anything. That actually seemed to work very well most of the time.  Zach remained out of the line of fire, and his dad remained on the throne.  Zach’s behavior soon settled in to be his character.  Whether in the house or out of the house, he was timid - afraid to stand up for himself, his values, or his faith.  He became very unsure of himself as he was worried about making the wrong decision and disappointing people in his life.  His habit was to sit back and just let everyone else tell him what to do.  

Making all the Decisions
As a young married couple, make no mistake about it, Emily loves Zach.  She loves his gentleness, caring, attention, and willingness to take care of her, but soon into the marriage, she began to feel like she was carrying making all the decisions.  Everything from when the garbage needs to go out to how they should manage their money.  Zach was not being defiant; he was just waiting for his orders.  Emily did not want to be in a position of giving orders. She wanted Zach to lead.

Becoming the Man She Needs
Everything came to a head when Zach’s father began to weigh in on Zach and Emily’s life as a married couple.  He would make comments that demoralized  Zach as a man. He would question why they did the things they did.  On the other hand, he would never take input from anyone else.  Emily began to recognize that she did not appreciate how Zach’s dad was treating him or them as a couple.  She began to challenge Zach by questioning him as to why he doesn’t stand up to his father.  Why doesn't he take initiative with running his own home?  Zach started to realize that he was not being the man or husband God called him to be.

Getting Help
This realization is what brought Zach to Rock Solid Families.  He had enough insight to recognize that something needed to change; he just didn’t know where to begin. That’s when we began to educate him on his upbringing, and how he was responding.  We began to have conversations about how his dad behaved and how Zach responded. We talked about how the pattern of timidity began to grow and become more and more entrenched into Zach’s being.  Once we were able to isolate the cause and effect connection, we were able to begin a new way forward.  

Working Together Toward a Solution
Emily began to attend sessions with Zach.  She was a critical component to helping Zach see a clear picture of what she needed as his wife. She in turn learned how to help and encourage him at home. Zach came in session after session willing and eager to learn knowing he had something better in him as a man.  Each week, Zach and Emily would practice new assertive actions in the home and when they were out together.  Zach did what may seem like simple things like take out the garbage or cut the grass without Emily’s prompting or second guessing himself. Emily learned that if she wanted these new habits to stick she had to encourage and praise not criticize Zach through his timidity.  

Practicing Fire Drills
The big test of Zach’s new found strength was going to come when he had to interact with his father.  Admittedly, Zach was nervous and concerned that he would just fall right back to his old self and allow his father to dismiss him as a man.  Zach and Emily learned how to establish and communicate healthy boundaries as a couple. In session, they practiced “fire drills”  where the two of them would run through potential hypotheticals to see when and how they would respond.  The more Zach and Emily practiced this, the greater their confidence became.  They actually began to be believe in themselves as a couple and that their marriage was theirs to protect.  This was empowering and even exciting.

 The Day of Reckoning with Dad
The day of reckoning finally came with a family get together.  Zach and Emily were confident and ready to respectfully respond to any snide remarks or disrespectful behaviors from Zach’s dad.  Zach’s dad came to the outing that day and quickly noticed that Zach had a certain confidence about him.  Zach did not respond to his father’s inappropriate remarks that day. He ignored them and refused to let his dad get in his head.  By not giving his father’s remarks any attention and energy, Zach noticed his dad backing down from his typical authoritarian persona.  On the other hand, Zach was starting to carry himself with greater confidence and strength than ever before.  It reaffirmed how he wanted to be as a husband and man of God. 

A New Man with a New Plan
Not only did this new confidence help in his relationship with his dad, but with his wife as well. Emily loves the man Zach is now.  She feels greater confidence in their relationship and less stress, because she now knows she’s not carrying the load alone.  Zach is truly a new man with a new plan.  He is now walking with his shoulders back and finding his confidence in who Christ made him to be.  He is learning to give himself grace when he makes mistakes, but continues to get back up.  Zach now looks forward to being a better husband, son, brother, neighbor and someday, a father.  He has much to give and now is ready to do so, all because he has uncovered the man God created him to be.

Don’t Settle for Less Than God’s Best
Zach and Emily’s story is one of new hope and life.  God created us in His image, but we often blame him for who we are. When, in fact, we have just allowed life to mold us into someone less than who God intended us to be.  Before you give up on yourself or someone else, understand that God gives us the ability to change. Your upbringing and environment can truly shape you for the good and bad.  When you want to see a better version of yourself, begin by praying to God and recognizing that you do not have to be a victim of your environment.  

Instant Gratification and Money - Are you sure you “WANT IT NOW”?

Money! Money! Money! “It seems like all we do is argue about MONEY!”  Is this the case in your marriage?  If so, you’re not alone.  When considering the top subjects that couples argue about, money usually makes the top 5 list.  Why is this the case when we live in such a wealthy country?  It turns out, it is not about the money, but about what money represents to people.  A big stack of money in and of itself is just a stack of paper.  But, when you realize what that stack of paper has the power to do, now that’s a different story. 

Money is linked to so many different but powerful emotions.  To many, money may mean security. To others, it may represent freedom and enjoyment. For some, money is a symbol of status or power. Therefore, a lack of money or lack of control over money can create the opposite feelings of fear, punishment, bondage, stress, and powerlessness.  These different emotions and meanings of money is where the conflict and stress can occur.

As human beings, our bodies and minds are drawn toward pleasure. We tend to avoid painful or stressful situations. Many of us have used money as a way of providing pleasure and avoiding pain.    The desire to have a good feeling in the moment is incredibly powerful.  “I WANT IT NOW!”  Instant gratification is real and powerful. How many of us have ever bought something we knew we didn’t need or couldn’t afford, because it felt good in the moment? I can’t be the only one. However, it doesn’t take long to realize that in life, all things come at a price.  The question is whether we are seeking long term satisfaction or instant gratification.  You may be able to have it now, but at what expense? What are you willing to sacrifice?  What level of pain will you receive?  What is the long term and short term cost vs reward?  These are all the questions that mature individuals need to start asking themselves.  

Since we know that so many couples argue about money, then it is likely that they do not agree on money’s cost vs reward.   Financial expert, Dave Ramsey, has developed an entire business and process to help you put this argument to rest. He has given millions of families a new process and way of thinking to help them better understand money and how to use it.  Below is a list of Ramsey’s financial baby steps. Implementing these steps as a couple can greatly reduce the stress and money differences in your marriage.  Also, listen to our recent Rock Solid Radio show in which Merrill and special guest Zac Strobl tackle the subject of money and give excellent useful tools to bring peace to your marriage. Click the links below for more.

DAVE RAMSEY’S SEVEN BABY STEPS

1. Baby Step 1: Save $1,000 for Your Starter Emergency Fund.

2. Baby Step 2: Pay Off All Debt. (Except the House) Using the Debt Snowball.

3. Baby Step 3: Save 3–6 Months of Expenses in a Fully Funded Emergency Fund

4. Baby Step 4: Invest 15% of Your Income for Retirement

5. Baby Step 5: Save for Your Children’s College Education

6. Baby Step 6: Pay Off Your Home Early.

7. Baby Step 7: Build Wealth and Give.

 To WATCH the full episode of Rock Solid Radio click HERE

To LISTEN to the full episode of Rock Solid Radio click HERE

For more information on getting your finances under control check out: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/

Blissful Ignorance - Story of Dale and Marie

When I first met with Dale and Marie for their premarital counseling a few years ago, they were like most young, engaged couples planning their wedding... so in love and so ready to get this over with. The premarital counseling that is, so they could get to the “good stuff”. During our premarital sessions, we spent time learning important communication and conflict resolution tools. We talked about taking the time to build a marriage on a firm foundation and the storms that may come after they say “ I do”. You know storms like infertility and infidelity. Things that can punch you in the gut and take your breath away like cancer or COVID.   Back then, neither one really thought they needed to worry about storms. After all, they were in love. That was until their marriage hit an iceberg at the end of last year and started to sink. 

Not Good
Both admit things had not been good for the past 18 months since their little one was born.  They would have petty fights that were never resolved - just brushed under the rug. Marie was distracted by her new role as a young new mom while Dale started to look elsewhere for some time and attention. That’s what Marie saw growing up. Conflict was never shown in her home, just minimized and ignored until her dad was caught in a 10 yr affair and her parents’ marriage ended after more than 25 years. So when Marie caught Dale in a 9 month affair just a couple years into their marriage, she braced for the worst. 

Painful Tears
It didn’t come easy nor without a lot of painful tears, but I’m thankful to report Dale and Marie are still together and stronger than they’ve ever been before. There was no quick fix for the pain, but both were patient and trusted God to do something new in their marriage. Dale and Marie now realize that their thinking before they got married was no more than “blissful ignorance”. Quickly after they said “I do”, they got distracted by the busyness of being new working parents and let their guard down. They got impatient with each other and stopped working on the most important relationships in their life - their relationship with Christ and their marriage. We’re no good to our kids when those two things are not our top priorities. 

Rebuilding Trust
After being confronted with the affair, Dale completely owned his unfaithfulness to Marie and took the necessary steps to regain her trust again. He was transparent and patient with her as different triggers brought her past back into the present. Dale and Marie have done the hard work to rebuild trust and they now have safeguards in their marriage to prioritize and protect it. When I asked Dale and Marie what has now made the biggest difference in their marriage, these are the safeguards they wanted to share:

Marriage Safeguards

1. Seek professional help BEFORE you turn to someone or something else. Don’t do what Dale did. Get help sooner. There is HOPE and HELP available. Don’t let money be the reason why you don’t seek help sooner. Rock Solid Families is a ministry first. They will never turn anyone away due to someone’s inability to pay. 

2. Involve God in your relationship and your healing. His word teaches us how to forgive and trust again. Worship and pray together. That has made an eternal difference for Dale and Marie.

3. Take a timeout when things get heated, but make sure conflict gets resolved. Dale and Marie now understand the importance of resolving conflict and NOT letting things get brushed under the rug. 

4. Go to bed together if at all possible. If you are always too busy or too tired to sleep in the same bed at the same time, that’s a red flag of a deeper issue.

5. Billy Graham Rule. Protect your marriage from any outside temptation. Don’t drive, dine or have personal private conversations with someone of the opposite sex. This safeguard would have saved Dale and Marie a lot of heartache. 

Stronger Than Ever
In our last session together, Dale and Marie were giddy sitting in my office holding hands talking about the new memories they were excited to create as a family. I am so proud of them and how hard they both worked to rebuild trust in their relationship. No more blissful ignorance for Dale and Marie. They now see the importance of having safeguards and intentionally protecting their marriage from the storms of life. They give God all the glory for where their marriage is today and thank Him for how he used one of the most painful experiences in their life to make them stronger than ever before. 

Gender Confusion and our Children

 Gender Confusion is one of the most difficult and emotionally charged topics families are facing today. Children and adults are being bombarded with waves of conflicting messages coming at them from all sides. Many children and adolescents are confused about their gender identity not knowing what to believe and who to trust in. In this week’s episode of Rock Solid Radio, we tackle the topic from a biblical worldview using God’s Word to inform and guide our discussion. In a storm of emotions and personal opinions, we look to the anchor of God and His Word for direction. He is our hope! (Hebrews 6:19)

 This conversation is intended to be truthful, respectful, and loving toward all parties involved regardless of what they say or believe. That’s what Jesus would do. That’s how he handled conflict and those who disagreed with him. Jesus always spoke the truth in love and did it with gentleness and respect. He asks us to treat people, even those who disagree with us, the same way.

I beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.  Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. Ephesians 4:1-3

 What is your family using as their anchor in this raging storm? There are so many different opinions that are competing for your child’s attention when it comes to sex and gender. It’s important that we model our relationships and fix our eyes on the one who can calm the storm.

 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.   Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.  Ephesians 4: 14-15

 We hope you will join us for this important discussion on this week’s episode of Rock Solid Radio. Maybe gender confusion isn’t something you are dealing with in your family, but most likely you will know someone who is. Be prepared. Get informed. Prayerfully discern now how you will respond if someone ever confides in you. The world is watching.  Will they see Jesus in us?

Click HERE to view the entire Rock Solid Radio episode on Gender Confusion and our kids.

Click HERE to listen to the entire Rock Solid Radio podcast on Gender Confusion and our kids.

Grace over Disgrace-A Lesson in Cancel Culture

It’s hard to find a program on TV anymore that’s appropriate for your whole family to watch, and if you have teenagers like we do, it may be even tougher to find one you can all agree on. For us, American Idol has been one of the few shows we’ve enjoyed as a family over the years. The popular talent show gives our family lots of conversation opportunities about talent, pride, humility, modesty, etc.  Recently, the show gave us the perfect opportunity to talk about cancel culture and how it could very well affect them someday. 

A Rising American Idol Star

If you’re not an American Idol fan, let me set the stage. Three celebrity judges scan the countryside every year for the next singing super star, with thousands of auditions occurring over a span of several months. Then it moves into the live shows where the nation gets to vote, narrowing their picks down week after week until the next American Idol is crowned.  This year our kids were excited about a young 16 yr old country star named Caleb Kennedy who really wowed everybody with his deep country voice.  He was doing well week after week making it to the top five, until his world came crashing in. 

A Costly Mistake

According to his own statement on Instagram, a snapchat video resurfaced back when he was 12 years old showing him sitting next to someone wearing a white hood. Because of one snapchat video (that kids mistakenly think always disappears) sitting next to someone in a white hood when he was 12 years old, Caleb’s dreams of becoming the next American Idol have been flushed down the toilet. Raise your hand if you think Caleb’s actions warranted him being kicked off the show? 

Navigating this Toxic Culture

But that, my friends, is what cancel culture is doing to our world today. American Idol and ABC are not going to stand behind their rising star in this racially charged climate we live in right now. They don’t want to touch that hot button topic with a ten foot pole. You and I are reading stories like this every day in our daily newsfeed and they offer some important lessons for us all. As parents, how can we help our kids navigate this toxic culture we live in today? How can we use stories like Caleb Kennedy to help our kids succeed in the future?  Here are some important things we have been talking about as a family in our home.

Lessons for us all

1. Digital Footprint- Have you ever googled your name and checked out your digital footprint? What can people find out about you or your children at the click of a button? Our kids especially need to understand that people in their life like teachers, coaches, colleges, employers, etc WILL judge them by the digital footprints they leave behind. Fair or not, just like Caleb found out, our digital footprint matters. Even if your child has no social media or digital devices of their own, they are around others who do. What are they saying and doing that they would someday regret if captured or shared? Have those kinds of conversations now with your kids before it’s too late. As a parent, it’s also important that we don’t give kids devices and forms of media they are not emotionally ready to manage. 

2. Love and Respect- As we talked about on our recent podcast, we agree with the premise of cancel culture and the importance of treating everyone with love and respect regardless of who they are or what they’ve done. Teach your children now to love and respect not only other people but themselves as well. Our words, actions, and attitudes DO matter and WILL affect our future.

3. Grace over Disgrace- At the end of the day, Caleb Kennedy learned a costly but valuable lesson on American Idol. Whether you agree with what happened or not, the reality is this: none of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes. This teenager’s  actions from four years ago may have cost him an American Idol title, but it doesn’t define who he is or who God created him to be. Despite what our society is saying in this cancel culture environment we are living in today, grace still trumps our disgrace. God offers us new mercies every day. He loves us despite our mistakes and that’s how he has asked us to love ourselves and others. Not because we are perfect or better than anyone else, but because of who Christ is and the price he has already paid for us on the cross. 

GRACE OVER DISGRACE...That’s the message we need to continually speak to our kids. 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8

For more on cancel culture and our family…Listen to this episode of Rock Solid Radio by clicking this link. https://www.buzzsprout.com/636718/8578966-rock-solid-radio-cancel-culture-and-your-family-episode-135

Watch this episode of Rock Solid Radio by clicking this link 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz94AN0e-U

A Broken Marriage Redeemed

It was June 2019 when I got a call from Kim Barth all the way from Georgetown, Ohio. She was calling to set up coaching for her and her estranged husband, Josh. After seven years of marriage, this young couple had been living separate for almost a year but were talking about giving their marriage another try. Making a blended family work was difficult for both Kim and Josh. Married before, both had one child each when they met. Josh’s son and Kim’s daughter were both in second grade at the time and in the same class. After getting married in 2012, this couple quickly found out how challenging it was raising children in a blended family with two totally different parenting styles. The tension in the home only intensified when Kim discovered Josh’s addiction to prescription drugs. Trust was broken and anger ran high as Josh imposed tough rules and high expectations on the whole family that he himself wasn’t willing to follow. 

No Other Way Out?
In April of 2018, Kim had had enough and her and her daughter moved in with her parents in Georgetown, Ohio. After Kim moved out, Josh went into a downward spiral of heavier drug use and reckless choices. In September of 2018, Josh was in a dark place of denial and self pity. The enemy had convinced him there was no other way out than to end his life altogether. That’s when Josh took a gun and put it to his head. Thankfully, God had other plans for Josh Barth that night. Josh may have pulled the trigger, but it was the Lord that lodged that bullet in the chamber and gave Josh another chance at life. That September night was a turning point for this young husband and father. It was the end of his addiction and the beginning of his new life in Christ. Josh made a decision that night. God was in charge of his life, and it was time to get busy living again. 

Restoring What’s Broken
Immediately after his suicide attempt, Josh got away from his old life and moved back to Lawrenceburg to live with his son and dad. Even while divorce papers were still in the works, Josh made the decision to rededicate his life to Christ. He started back to church and began attending weekly Celebrate Recovery meetings. Even if he lost his marriage, Josh knew he could never go back to that side of town and that way of life again. While Josh was working the steps of sobriety, he was also starting the restoration process of his marriage and family. At first, Kim was not “buying what Josh was selling”. Her walls were up because in her mind, “things were too far gone”. Kim and Josh had both been wounded deeply, and a lot of damage had been done to their relationship. Both questioned whether God wanted them back together at all. That’s when Kim called Rock Solid Families.

First Things First
When Josh and Kim walked in the doors of Rock Solid Families, neither one knew how to put God first, marriage second, and children third.  Kim did know one thing for sure; Josh getting clean wasn’t going to be enough. Their marriage needed a complete transformation, and that’s exactly what God gave them.  Healing for Kim and redemption for their marriage came when Kim finally surrendered her life to Christ and learned how to forgive Josh. Kim was baptized and began going to church on her own in Georgetown, Ohio. Kim began making the drive to Harrison, OH every Sunday to attend church with Josh. She began to make the 90 minute drive to meet with Josh at Rock Solid Families, and God began to do great things in this young couples’ life.

Rebuilding Trust
God commands all of us to forgive, but rebuilding trust takes two, so I asked Kim and Josh, recently, how they were able to do that. Both admit they are still are a “work in progress”. They admit they don’t always get it right, but it’s been so much easier doing their marriage God’s way. Kim and Josh turned to God’s Word for direction and started reading scripture together. Kim’s heart began to soften as she saw Josh living out what they were reading. He was not just “talking the talk but walking the walk” as well. Josh admits he had to come clean and change his ways. He had to stop taking the easy way out and be honest even when it was hard. He had to make amends with Kim and the kids and surround himself with accountability and healthy relationships. Both had to learn how to put God first while still making their relationship a priority. 

More Than We Could Ask or Imagine
The apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 3:20-21, Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Josh and Kim’s story is a living testimony to that truth. Not only has God restored their marriage, but he has brought this family of four together in a way it has never been before. God has also redeemed Josh’ addiction and used it for His glory too. He now serves the Lord in full time ministry working with men coming out of prison and addiction. Josh and Kim’s redemption story reminds us that there is nothing better than building our lives on the rock solid foundation of Jesus Christ. To Him Be All the Glory!