New Life-The Story of Rob and Ale

Over the years, I have had the privilege of working with hundreds of amazing engaged couples as they prepare for their new life together. I have loved getting to know each and every one of them and seeing their relationship grow and strengthen. That’s been especially true for newlyweds, Rob and Ale. I’ll never forget the day the two walked into our Rock Solid Families office. You could tell they were giddy about their upcoming wedding, but there was a seriousness about them too. They REALLY wanted to get this right. They were ready to do the work.

During our premarital sessions, they learned how to better communicate and resolve conflict in stressful times. They learned the importance of budgeting and having common financial goals. They dreamed together about their future including starting a family and parenting children. Then we began to dig a little deeper into what Rob and Ale were going to build all this on. What kind of foundation did the two of them want for their new life together? 

The topic of spiritual beliefs was definitely an issue between this engaged couple.  Rob came from an awesome family who loved one another and loved God; they just weren’t church goers. Ale had been raised Catholic but had stopped going for a while. On her own, Ale had recently started to attend church again and wanted a strong common faith for her marriage. Together, we began to unpack the story of the Wise and Foolish Builders in Matthew 7:24-27. 

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.

Rob and Ale walked down the aisle in June 2019 and started their new life together as husband and wife. They began attending church together as husband and wife and growing in their faith. In December 2019, the two of them walked down the aisle together again. This time to give their lives to Christ. Ale describes that moment as one she will never forget. Rob says “he felt something pulling him” to walk forward. Together, Rob and Ale decided to go ALL IN with their faith and lay a foundation of faith for their family that would be unshakable no matter the storm. 

You see, God’s word doesn’t promise us a storm free life, but he does offer us protection and refuge from the storms. That storm may be called infertility or infidelity. It may be cancer or COVID. Your marriage may be rocked by bankruptcy or betrayal, but God’s promises still stand. 

Rob and Ale are learning to trust each other completely just like they do God, because His love never fails! They both would tell you- it is so worth it. When you experience the unconditional love and grace of your Heavenly Father, you can’t help but give it away. They are building their family on the rock of Jesus Christ and just in the nick of time too, because their world is about to be rocked. The legacy of faith, family, and new life continues with the addition of Baby Bennison in March 2021. When I asked Ale what she wanted for her family, she immediately responded, “I can’t wait to bring him/her to church.” And so begins a new legacy of faith!

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. 
The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
2 Corinthians 5:17

Peace in the Storm

When you grow up in the Cincinnati Tri-State area, you get used to unpredictable weather. It can be sunny/70 degrees one day and rainy/40 degrees the next. You get used to the flood watches and tornado warnings coming across your phone or TV. They are just a part of living in the midwest. But if you’re my friend from Southern California, those warnings can be unnerving and bring on a lot of anxiety. I’ll never forget when Mary, a new friend from San Diego, experienced her first tornado warning in the Tri-State. She was in her car on a winding Indiana road when the tornado warning came across her car radio. She started to become anxious and panicked. She immediately pulled over to the side of the road and called me screaming, “What do I do?”

Let’s face it, I would have probably reacted the same way, if I were in Southern California during an earthquake or in Hawaii during a Tsunami warning. We can NEVER be prepared for every storm we will face in life. All of us, sometime or another, will face a storm in life that will catch us off guard and try to knock us off our feet. 

That was even true for Jesus’ disciples. The Bible tells of a time when they were in a boat with Jesus and began to panic when a storm suddenly blew in and began pounding their boat while out on the Sea of Galilee. Many of these men were even expert fishermen but yet were caught off guard at the sudden squall that beat against their boat nearly swamping it. (Mark 4:35-41)

Ever felt like that before? Ever felt like your boat was being swamped by the storm raging around you?  I’ve seen your recent Facebook posts. I’ve seen your Instagram feed. In this time of uncertainty, we are all trying to wrestle with this raging yet invisible storm of COVID-19. I’ll admit I’ve had my moments where the “what ifs” crept in my mind. I have never experienced a storm like this in my lifetime, and my guess is neither have you.  So it’s only natural to have some fear and anxiety about what’s going on in our world today. I’d have to check your pulse if you haven’t. But I don’t want to stay there, do you? I don’t want my fear to win. I don’t want my anxious thoughts to keep me from living the life God wants me to live and doing what he wants me to do. What if He has prepared and equipped us for “such a time as this”?

I’ve spent the last couple weeks really praying and meditating over this invisible storm our world is currently fighting against.  I have tried to listen more than I speak, asking God to give me peace and direction through His Word. And WOW, the Lord has delivered! I can’t explain it any other way but that His Word has nestled into my heart and mind and replaced all those anxious thoughts. His Word has come alive like never before. The Bible is filled with words that always bring me peace, but I wanted to share just a couple that have really taken away those anxious thoughts in the middle of this raging storm.

THIS BATTLE IS HIS - No doubt God is up to something big with COVID-19. He has got the world’s attention for a reason, and I trust in Him. I trust in His timing and His ways through this storm. The battle is the Lord’s and He will be victorious! I’m just His foot soldier trying to follow His marching orders. 

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. (Psalm 18:2)

Who is the King of glory?  The Lord, strong and mighty; the Lord, invincible in battle. (Psalm 24:8)

OUR JOB IS TO STAY FOCUSED ON THE MISSION - We can’t let our minds camp out on those anxious thoughts for very long. I don’t know about you, but they suck the life out of me. That fear brings chaos into my world where there doesn’t have to be chaos. Those anxious thoughts distract me from my mission to bring God glory through it all. You and I have got to quickly take all of that captive and refocus our eyes back on the Lord. That is when He will fight our battles for us.  

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

HE’S OUR ANCHOR IN THE STORM - There is nothing that can blow us off course when Jesus Christ is the anchor for our soul.  That brings me great peace when the storm is raging. What is the anchor keeping you firm and secure through this storm?

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (Hebrews 6:19). 

EVERYTHING ELSE IS SINKING SAND - At Rock Solid Families, we have built an entire ministry on the Rock Solid Foundation of Jesus Christ. We have sat with countless individuals and couples who have put their trust in something that has failed them. They come to us feeling stuck and sometimes even hopeless not knowing where to turn or what to do next. Whether it be a spouse, a job, or our health….it all can be taken from us in a blink of an eye. None of those things make a very strong foundation to build our lives on. Jesus tried to share this truth in his parable of the wise and foolish builders. (Matthew 7:24-27) Don’t give your circumstances the power to dictate your peace. You can decide today what you’re going to build your life on.  Is it your job? Is it your health? Is it your net worth? As we have found in the middle of this crisis, all of those things can disappear in an instant. And then what? 

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”(Matthew 7:24-27)

HE’S WAITING FOR US - In the story I mentioned before in Luke 4, it was only when the disciples cried out to Jesus that He calmed the storm. I’m not saying that one simple prayer is going to end COVID-19, but I am saying that the Lord is waiting for us to reach out to Him. He sees the storm, and He’s in control. He knows what lies ahead, but He’s waiting for us to trust him. We can be in the middle of a raging storm like COVID-19 and still find comfort, strength, and peace in the solid rock of Jesus Christ. Use these difficult days as weights that exercise and strengthen your faith muscles.  

I don’t know where you’re at right now, but that’s how I have found peace in the middle of this storm. It’s not because I know what tomorrow brings and how all this ends, but because I know HE is the Rock I cling to in the middle of this storm. He is the unshakable foundation that can’t be moved or knocked down even by the biggest waves. Jesus Christ is what brings me peace, not my circumstances. If you don’t know this peace that calms even the wildest storm, call me. I’d love to walk alongside you and introduce you to Him.  His name is Jesus, and He’s been waiting for you. 

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. (Psalm 107:28-29)

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-38)

The Greatest Investment You Could Ever Make

There are not many folks who have lived in Bright, Indiana for any length of time that have not personally met or heard of the name, Jesse Smith. Jesse was just one of those special people you never forget. He was such a loving and faithful man of God who took a chance on this girl and hired her for full time ministry over 20 years ago. He was my elder, mentor and friend and at the age of 91 received his eternal reward on January 17, 2020.  As I looked around the room before Jesse’s funeral at Bright Christian Church where he worshipped for over 82 years, I couldn’t help but think about the legacy he left behind. There was a massive crowd of family and friends there to celebrate a life well-lived. Jesse Smith understood this counter cultural way of living that I want to propose to you today. In God’s eyes, he was a very rich man!

Let’s face it, there are so many things in life that compete for your time, attention, and resources. In this 24/7 digital age, you can be bombarded from all sides and quickly overwhelmed. Whether it’s your phone that’s vibrating in your pocket day and night to the constant feed of fake news on social media. It becomes harder and harder to filter out the good from the bad. For many, all these things become just “noise”. We see individuals, couples, and families every week in our Rock Solid Families office that are having a hard time navigating through it all and discerning what is worth their time and attention and what is not. Many folks become overwhelmed, shut down and even turn on each other due to the stress of all the “noise”.

So where do YOU spend your valuable resources?  The world today would say financial investments are the most important ones you can make, but the reality is they are the least. Could I suggest that the best investment of your time, talents, and treasures are NOT Facebook or your 401K? So what is the “best bang for your buck” when it comes to your time, energy, and resources? I believe it’s relationships! I think my mentor and friend, Jesse Smith, would agree with me when I say the best bang for your buck is first an eternal investment. Jesus Christ needs to come first, then your spouse, then family, then others. Jesse and his wife, Jeanie, had been married 72 years when he passed this past January. When you looked around the room at his funeral and the crowd of family and friends from all over the country and of all ages, no doubt, Jesse Smith was a rich man!

In this digital world we live in today, we have lost that investment of human connection. Families are disconnecting, marriages are crumbling, friendships are starving, and our personal mental health is suffering. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death for those between the age of 10-24. Why? This should be the prime of their life? Research is clear. In an age where we seem so “connected”, we are feeling more disconnected and isolated than ever. At Jesse’s funeral, people got up and spoke about his strong handshake and loving hugs and fistbumps. They talked about the 1000 love notes he would write to his church family every February during “love month”. They talked about his steadfast faith in Jesus Christ. Jesse understood that the key to a happy, rich life was investing in relationships both with the Lord and with others. 

So what can we do TODAY to help build a healthier tomorrow for ourselves and our family? Our community? Or world?  There are some simple things we all can do that don’t require a lot of money or any special talents. 

LOOK UP. Turn off your phone in the waiting room or in line and look around you. Who is sitting alone? Who looks like they could use a smile or a kind word? It doesn’t take much time but that could make a huge difference in someone’s life. You never know what they are going through and how your smile and a kind word could make a difference. Often it’s someone in your own home who is craving this face to face connection with you. Maybe it’s your son who wants you to put down the phone and shoot hoops with him. Maybe it's your mom who would love for you to take the air pods out of your ears and ask about her day. Look up and look around. 

SLOW DOWN. When is the last time you stepped away from your desk and went to lunch with your coworkers? How about the last time you called an old friend and checked in on them? Could you slow down long enough to open the door for someone or let someone go ahead of you in grocery line? So many people, including myself at times, use the word “BUSY” as a badge of honor. You know what I’m talking about…”Linda, I can’t slow down and do those things. I am soooo BUSY!” It’s time we slow down and take our “busy badges” off. As a family, we have overscheduled our kids and ourselves so tightly, we don’t even have the time to sit down at the kitchen table and share a meal. We’re missing out on the greatest time of the day to connect as a family. Make it a rule that there are NO phones or other screens at the table. I’m sure all of us have seen families out at a restaurant with everyone looking down at their phone or at a TV screen on a wall. Why bother even eating together? Spend that time engaging and reconnecting. Ask about each other’s day. What were the highs? What were the lows?

 REACH OUT.  How about sending an old fashioned birthday card to a family member or a sympathy card to a neighbor who just lost their spouse? You know those things you put stamps on and put in the mail. If you’re married, spend at least 15 minutes every day in face to face dialogue. If you have little ones, it’s important that your kids know how important this “mom and dad time” is.  Take that initiative to reconnect and recalibrate your relationship. Help your spouse feel like the most important person in your world. Both the dinner table and couple dialogue are tools you can use to read the temperature of your family and your marriage. In today’s digital age we are losing those skills. We’re too busy with our heads down in a screen. We’ve lost that human connection. 

INVEST IN. Who is God calling you to invest in? Want to know what I believe is the greatest investment of time and energy you could ever make? Want to know what will give you an EXPONENTIAL return on your investment? Investing in the life of a child. Before you give me your excuse as to why you can’t...let me clarify. Everyone, regardless of how old you are or how much time or money you have, can do SOMETHING. We are all called to do SOMETHING.  When we adopted our three youngest four years ago, my husband and I were so thankful for the many other men and women God placed in their life to encourage them and help them grow. It has been amazing to watch the connections they have made with their new aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, coaches, teachers, youth group leaders, neighbors, you name it. God has used each one of them to pour into their lives. 

So look around you? Who could YOU reach out to and invest in today? Is it another adult or maybe a child? Did you know there are over 9,000 children just in Indiana alone that are currently in foster care with many of those waiting for a forever home? Maybe foster care or adoption isn’t for you. What about giving a few hours a week as a Big Brother or Sister? There are hundreds of kids in the Greater Cincinnati waiting to be matched with a mentor. Maybe you could be the voice for a child in need and serve as a local Child Advocate. What about loving on babies in your church’s nursery or volunteering to coach a neighborhood t-ball team? 

In their 72 years of marriage, Jesse and Jeanie Smith mentored and encouraged thousands of others by investing in people using their time, talents, and treasures. That’s why at the age of 91, Bright Christian Church was packed with four generations of family and friends there to honor Jesse Smith and celebrate a life well lived.  Jesse understood the secret to a happy, full life. He knew that investing in things that are intangible and eternal like relationships may seem counter cultural to the world today, but they will definitely bring the greatest rewards.