Bedtime can be a challenging time in many homes. Unfortunately, It often comes down to the battle of the wills. Who is going to stand their ground and take home “the win”? At Rock Solid Families, we are often amazed at how a three year old can dominate a home and set the tone for how the family operates.
This battle of the wills doesn’t just happen at bedtime; it could be mealtime, homework time, chore time, etc. All of these situations give us opportunities as parents to establish in a healthy and appropriate way who the leader in the house really is. As adults, who were once kids themselves, we understand that not every child wants to do what they are told, but that’s not the point. The real question to ask ourselves is this; who is the leader in our home and how are we going leading our family?
At Rock Solid Families, we strongly believe that we, as parents, should be the leaders in their home. We have the primary responsibility to know what values we want for our children and to do the work to maintain them in our home. It’s important for our kids to see us not wavering from those values or second-guessing them when we get pushback from our kids. Especially when our children are young, it is important that our parenting be consistent. After all, as we have said in many of our Rock Solid Radio podcasts, consistency leads to security for our kids. The best way to be consistent with our parenting is to establish early on some routines.
Routines are predictable paths of activity that allow our children to know what is happening in the moment and what will be happening in the near future. It allows a level of predictability and security for our children. In the case of bedtime for example, if we, as parents, establish and enforce a regular bedtime routine, our children will quickly be able to recognize what is happening and soon fall into the daily practice. However, if bedtime is never consistent and is simply based on the level of perceived tiredness , our child will quickly lead the entire house into a state of chaos and confusion. One night they may seem tired and ready for bed at 7:00 pm; the next night it is closer to 10:00 pm. This inconsistency leads to confusion; confusion leads to tension, and tension leads to tantrums! Ever have any of those at bedtime?
Establishing routines takes work and is not without its challenges. When the routine is introduced it may not be accepted by everyone in the house, but that doesn’t mean the routine should not be implemented. It means we’ve allowed some really bad habits to occur. Calm consistency and persistency are our keys to success! As a parent, we know what is best for our child. Let’s lead our children through these routines with calm and consistent confidence. By doing so, we will begin to model and teach them the values we stand for in our home.
For more information on how to establish healthy bedtime routines, click HERE to watch-Rock Solid Radio-Episode 150-My Kid Won’t Go to Bed
For more information on how to establish healthy bedtime routines, click HERE to listen-Rock Solid Radio-Episode 150-My Kid Won’t Go to Bed